Dave > Dave's Quotes

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#1

“In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: humor, jerks, science

1288 likes

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#2

“There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. A man's whole life is a succession of moment after moment. There will be nothing else to do, and nothing else to pursue. Live being true to the single purpose of the moment.”
― Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai

283 likes

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#3

“It was one of those happy days that God grants us sometimes on earth to give us an idea of the bliss of heaven.”
― Johann David Wyss, The Swiss Family Robinson

tags: chp42, contentment, happiness, heaven, heaven-on-earth, swiss-family-robison

18 likes

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#4

“A noble mind finds its purest joy in the accomplishment of its duty, and to that willingly sacrifices its inclination.”
― Johann David Wyss, The Swiss Family Robinson; or Adventures in a Desert Island

6 likes

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#5

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life

21173 likes

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#6

“Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor

3635 likes

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#7

“I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life

2725 likes

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#8

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”
― Bill Watterson, The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book

tags: idiots, life-humor

2368 likes

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#9

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”
― Bill Watterson

1636 likes

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#10

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: idleness, time, wasting-time

1547 likes

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#11

“You know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon...everything's different.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: change-life

1301 likes

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#12

“If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently. ”
― Bill Watterson

843 likes

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#13

“I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: expectations, humor

705 likes

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#14

“God put me on earth to accomplish certain things. Right now, I’m so far behind, I’ll never die.”
― Bill Watterson

632 likes

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#15

“That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: humor, perseverance

559 likes

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#16

“I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, dumb, humor, information, school

529 likes

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#17

“Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.”
― Bill Watterson, The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book

tags: books, comfort, rain, reading, tea

691 likes

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#18

“How come we play war and not peace?"
"Too few role models.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: peace, play, war

451 likes

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#19

“I've been thinking Hobbes"
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes

395 likes

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#20

“I'd hate to have a kid like me.”
― Bill Watterson, The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

tags: humor-children

332 likes

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#21

“To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: inspirational, life, meaning, wisdom

362 likes

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#22

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
― Mark Twain

tags: aliteracy, attributed-no-source, literacy

40995 likes

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#23

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
― Mark Twain

tags: attributed-no-source, education

18231 likes

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#24

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
― Mark Twain

tags: misattributed-mark-twain, truth

16290 likes

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#25

“Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, writing

9637 likes

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#26

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, politics

9109 likes

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#27

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor

7634 likes

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#28

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”
― Mark Twain

tags: americans, geography, war

7529 likes

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#29

“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: patriotism, politics

6004 likes

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#30

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.”
― Mark Twain, Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World

tags: books, truth

6034 likes

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