2026 Reading Challenge

Joey > Joey's Quotes

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  • #1
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148391 likes

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  • #2
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche
    tags: friendship, lack-of-friendship, lack-of-love, love, marriage, unhappy-marriage
    42406 likes

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  • #3
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”
    ― Kurt Vonnegut
    tags: frustration, humor, laughter
    2182 likes

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  • #4
    James Mackintosh
    “The powers of a man's mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.”
    ― Sir James Mackintosh
    tags: coffee, humor, intelligence
    93 likes

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  • #5
    Orson Welles
    “There are three intolerable things in life - cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women...”
    ― Orson Welles
    tags: coffee, orson-welles
    95 likes

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  • #6
    Samuel Shem
    “Life's like a penis; When it's soft you can't beat it; When it's hard you get screwed. - The Fat Man, Medical Resident in The House of God”
    ― Samuel Shem, The House of God
    31 likes

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  • #7
    Sheng Wang
    “A friend said to me, “Hey you need to grow a pair. Grow a pair, Bro.” It’s when someone calls you weak, but they associate it with a lack of testicles. Which is weird, because testicles are the most sensitive things in the world. If you suddenly just grew a pair, you’d be a lot more vulnerable. If you want to be tough, you should lose a pair. If you want to be real tough, you should grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”
    ― Sheng Wang
    tags: feminism, humor, misattributed-betty-white
    2843 likes

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  • #8
    Benjamin Franklin
    “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
    ― Benjamin Franklin
    tags: drinking, humor
    1593 likes

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  • #9
    Norman Mailer
    “You don't know a woman until you've met her in court.”
    ― Norman Mailer
    119 likes

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  • #10
    Groucho Marx
    “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: humor
    1099 likes

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  • #11
    Jeaniene Frost
    “You know that old saying. Once you go dead, no one's better in bed.”
    ― Jeaniene Frost, One Foot in the Grave
    tags: humor, sex, vampire
    1101 likes

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  • #12
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected.”
    ― Kurt Vonnegut
    tags: adolf-hitler, electoral-politics, george-w-bush, humor, politics
    1082 likes

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  • #13
    Stephen King
    “FEAR stands for fuck everything and run.”
    ― Stephen King, Doctor Sleep
    tags: humor, humour, stephen-king
    1165 likes

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  • #14
    Groucho Marx
    “If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”
    ― Groucho marx
    1020 likes

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  • #15
    Abraham Lincoln
    “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
    tags: humor
    946 likes

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  • #16
    Steve Martin
    “I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
    ― steve martin
    917 likes

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  • #17
    Erma Bombeck
    “There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
    ― Erma Bombeck
    tags: comedy, humor, hurt, laughter, pain, tragedy
    915 likes

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  • #18
    Winston S. Churchill
    “Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.”
    ― Winston S. Churchill
    tags: humor
    997 likes

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  • #19
    Charlie Chaplin
    “A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.”
    ― Charlie Chaplin
    tags: character, drunk, humor, people, truth
    951 likes

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  • #20
    Lenny Bruce
    “There are never enough 'I love you's.”
    ― Lenny Bruce
    tags: humor, inspiration
    718 likes

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  • #21
    Dr. Seuss
    “I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.”
    ― Dr Suess
    tags: humor
    751 likes

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  • #22
    Harlan Ellison
    “The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”
    ― Harlan Ellison
    817 likes

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  • #23
    Edmond Rostand
    “A great nose may be an index
    Of a great soul”
    ― Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac
    tags: classics, humor
    702 likes

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  • #24
    Henry David Thoreau
    “Any fool can make a rule
    And any fool will mind it.”
    ― Henry David Thoreau, Journal #14
    tags: authority, conformity, fool, foolishness, humor, law, rule, rules
    681 likes

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  • #25
    Oscar Wilde
    “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: humor, taste
    3182 likes

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  • #26
    Carlos Ruiz Zafón
    “People talk too much. Humans aren't descended from monkeys. They come from parrots.”
    ― Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The Shadow of the Wind
    tags: humor
    600 likes

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  • #27
    Jane Austen
    “A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
    ― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
    tags: humor, love, romantic, women
    18045 likes

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  • #28
    C.E.M. Joad
    “Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
    ― C.E.M. Joad
    tags: creativity, humor, misattributed-to-einstein, paraphrased
    13074 likes

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  • #29
    Albert Einstein
    “I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: growing-older, solitude
    1088 likes

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  • #30
    Charlotte Brontë
    “I would always rather be happy than dignified.”
    ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
    10630 likes



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Tags From Joey’s Quotes

attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
friendship
lack-of-friendship
lack-of-love
love
marriage
unhappy-marriage
frustration
laughter
coffee
intelligence
orson-welles
feminism
misattributed-betty-white
drinking
sex
vampire
adolf-hitler
electoral-politics
george-w-bush
politics
humour
stephen-king
comedy
hurt
pain
tragedy
character
drunk
people
truth
inspiration
classics
authority
conformity
fool
foolishness
law
rule
rules
taste
romantic
women
creativity
misattributed-to-einstein
paraphrased
growing-older
solitude