Joey > Joey's Quotes

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  • #1
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #2
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
    Friedrich Nietzsche

  • #3
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”
    Kurt Vonnegut

  • #4
    James Mackintosh
    “The powers of a man's mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.”
    Sir James Mackintosh

  • #5
    Orson Welles
    “There are three intolerable things in life - cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women...”
    Orson Welles

  • #6
    Samuel Shem
    “Life's like a penis; When it's soft you can't beat it; When it's hard you get screwed. - The Fat Man, Medical Resident in The House of God”
    Samuel Shem, The House of God

  • #7
    Sheng Wang
    “A friend said to me, “Hey you need to grow a pair. Grow a pair, Bro.” It’s when someone calls you weak, but they associate it with a lack of testicles. Which is weird, because testicles are the most sensitive things in the world. If you suddenly just grew a pair, you’d be a lot more vulnerable. If you want to be tough, you should lose a pair. If you want to be real tough, you should grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”
    Sheng Wang

  • #8
    Benjamin Franklin
    “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
    Benjamin Franklin

  • #9
    Norman Mailer
    “You don't know a woman until you've met her in court.”
    Norman Mailer

  • #10
    Groucho Marx
    “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”
    Groucho Marx

  • #11
    Jeaniene Frost
    “You know that old saying. Once you go dead, no one's better in bed.”
    Jeaniene Frost, One Foot in the Grave

  • #12
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected.”
    Kurt Vonnegut

  • #13
    Stephen  King
    “FEAR stands for fuck everything and run.”
    Stephen King, Doctor Sleep

  • #14
    Groucho Marx
    “If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”
    Groucho marx

  • #15
    Abraham Lincoln
    “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”
    Abraham Lincoln

  • #16
    Steve  Martin
    “I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
    steve martin

  • #17
    Erma Bombeck
    “There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
    Erma Bombeck

  • #18
    Winston S. Churchill
    “Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.”
    Winston S. Churchill

  • #19
    Charlie Chaplin
    “A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.”
    Charlie Chaplin

  • #20
    Lenny Bruce
    “There are never enough 'I love you's.”
    Lenny Bruce

  • #21
    Dr. Seuss
    “I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.”
    Dr Suess

  • #22
    Harlan Ellison
    “The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”
    Harlan Ellison

  • #23
    Edmond Rostand
    “A great nose may be an index
    Of a great soul”
    Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac

  • #24
    Henry David Thoreau
    “Any fool can make a rule
    And any fool will mind it.”
    Henry David Thoreau, Journal #14

  • #25
    Oscar Wilde
    “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.”
    Oscar Wilde

  • #26
    Carlos Ruiz Zafón
    “People talk too much. Humans aren't descended from monkeys. They come from parrots.”
    Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The Shadow of the Wind

  • #27
    Jane Austen
    “A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
    Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

  • #28
    C.E.M. Joad
    “Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
    C.E.M. Joad

  • #29
    Albert Einstein
    “I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #30
    Charlotte Brontë
    “I would always rather be happy than dignified.”
    Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre



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