Mike > Mike's Quotes

“Of all the systems of religion that ever were invented, there is no more derogatory to the Almighty, more unedifying to man, more repugnant to reason, and more contradictory to itself than this thing called Christianity. Too absurd for belief, too impossible to convince, and too inconsistent for practice, it renders the heart torpid or produces only atheists or fanatics. As an engine of power, it serves the purpose of despotism, and as a means of wealth, the avarice of priests, but so far as respects the good of man in general it leads to nothing here or hereafter.”
― Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason

“The Edge... There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, Hell's Angels

“The greatest mania of all is passion: and I am a natural slave to passion: the balance between my brain and my soul and my body is as wild and delicate as the skin of a Ming vase.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, The Curse of Lono

“For millions of years, mankind lived just like the animals. Then something happened which unleashed the power of our imagination. We learned to talk and we learned to listen. Speech has allowed the communication of ideas, enabling human beings to work together to build the impossible. Mankind's greatest achievements have come about by talking, and its greatest failures by not talking. It doesn't have to be like this. Our greatest hopes could become reality in the future. With the technology at our disposal, the possibilities are unbounded. All we need to do is make sure we keep talking.”
― Stephen Hawking

“I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”
― Oscar Wilde

“God has no religion.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

“I hate you, God. I hate you as though you actually exist.”
― Graham Greene, The End of the Affair

“My job is a decision-making job, and as a result, I make a lot of decisions.”
― George W. Bush

“If this were a dictatorship it would be a heck of a lot easier... as long as I'm the dictator. Hehehe.”
― George W. Bush

“I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace.”
― George W. Bush

“One of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror. ”
― George W. Bush

“See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.”
― George W. Bush

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

“Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.”
― Frank Zappa

“Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.”
― Frank Zappa

“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.”
― Frank Zappa

“The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced.”
― Frank Zappa

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
― Robert Frost

“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.”
― G.K. Chesterton, Alarms and Discursions

“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.”
― George Carlin

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
― George Carlin

“Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,
For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain.
America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,
And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.”
― George Carlin

“Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.”
― George Carlin

“A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed.”
― George Carlin

“Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?”
― George Carlin

“I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.”
― George Carlin

“Bullshit is truly the American soundtrack.”
― George Carlin

“Think off center.”
― George Carlin