Layce Gardner > Layce's Quotes

“I was not a lovable child, and I'd grown into a deeply unlovable adult. Draw a picture of my soul, and it'd be a scribble with fangs.”
― Gillian Flynn, Dark Places

“Matheus felt like a nice Jewish boy trying to explain that his new girlfriend with the shaved head and the swastika tattooed across her stomach had a really sweet personality, you know, deep down.”
― Amy Fecteau, Real Vampires Don't Sparkle

“Insanity is for everyone, Sunshine. All the world's peoples may enjoy its glorious bounty.”
― Amy Fecteau, Real Vampires Don't Sparkle

“I cried at the funeral. It wasn’t because I loved her, it was because I was there, in the front pew at the church, chopping onions.”
― Jarod Kintz, My love can only occupy one person at a time

“Memories are funny things, aren’t they? They’re like your own private little picture show. You can edit and splice and put ’em together any way you want.”
― Layce Gardner, A Perfect Romance

“He didn't mean I couldn't leave, he meant I couldn't leave leave. If he meant I couldn't even take out the trash and had to stay inside all the time, that would result in a vitamin D deficiency and I would get scurvy and turn pale, wither, and die and he would go to jail for child abuse. So, I don't think he meant that.”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“Strike two. Add dumb as a box of rocks to the list of why I don't like these guys. I got to my feet, deciding to play nice. After all, they were just poor dumb guys who couldn't help it that there weren't enough brains in their genes.”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“She looked mean, but I think that was her natural resting face.”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“Do not go where you don’t belong. I scoffed. That sounded like an invitation if I ever heard one.”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“What happened next… well, I'm going to blame it on the fact that I was scared. And I had just flown or fallen or something through about eighty years worth of Time. Or maybe it was the beans. I farted. I farted loud enough that it echoed around the small closet, bounced off all four walls and finally escaped through the open door. At least that's what it did in my mind's eye.”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“I had read once that dumb people didn't know they were dumb. They thought they were just as smart as anybody else. That was a very unsettling thought. What if I was really dumb and didn't know it?”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“I mean, were you born a freak?” I asked. I flinched at my own words. I didn’t mean to be rude it just came out that way. The girl rolled her eyes to me. “I don’t know. Were you born stupid?” Okay, maybe I deserved that. “Yeah, probably.”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“I shrieked like a little girl, which, if you think about it, makes total sense.”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“A stealthy ninja monkey she was not.”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“I had a choice. My instincts told me to hurry up and give the choking man the Heimlich maneuver. My brain told me to stay still until he expired and chalk this one up to divine intervention.”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“You know how they say that right before you die your life flashes before your eyes? It doesn’t. That is just a notion they came up with for books and movies to make death seem romantic. Here’s what really happens: Your intestines feel like a dishrag that’s being wrung dry and your stomach acts like a balloon when you let the air out of it”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“I figured I only had about two seconds to live. It’s amazing how many thoughts you can have in two seconds.”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“That was when things got weird. You may have thought things were weird already, but this was uber-weird”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“This was a true pants-pooping moment.”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“And that’s basically the end of this story. I know it sounds unbelievable and all. And I’m not saying I can explain all the time travel parts or the magical tattoo parts. You may not even believe me. That’s okay, though. I know it happened and that’s all that counts.”
― Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

“the greater the noise the less the deeds. And grand announcements do not mean great doings. Let”
― Philippa Gregory, The Other Queen

“Ove is the sort of man who checks the status of all things by giving them a good kick.”
― Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove

“People said Ove saw the world in black and white. But she was color. All the color he had.”
― Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove

“A woman who has lost her husband is invalid, thus an invalid. In”
― Joyce Carol Oates, A Book of American Martyrs

“I believe that if you are lucky enough to have a child, then you should love them, whether or not society labels them as flawed, whether or not you label them as flawed. “You”
― Gilly Macmillan, The Perfect Girl

“Trump liked to say that one of the things that made life worth living was getting your friends’ wives into bed.”
― Michael Wolff, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House

“I’ve discovered that one of the benefits of living alone is you can have as much chintz as you like.”
― Renee Shafransky, Tips for Living

“The trouble with having a partner who lies and cheats is that it can make you question everything.”
― Renee Shafransky, Tips for Living

“It’s not that I enjoy being in constant motion; it’s that what I want most is to relax, and I can’t allow myself relaxation until everything’s done.”
― Ellie Monago, Neighborly

“If you lived in the same place long enough, everything reminded you of everything else.”
― Jane Smiley, Early Warning