Annette > Annette's Quotes

“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”
― Dave Barry

“I love how babies look like old people. I saw a baby the other day that looked exactly like my grandpa, only taller.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.”
― Dave Barry

“Calvin: Dad where do babies come from?
Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions.
Calvin: I came from Sears?
Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart - almost as good and a lot cheaper!”
― Bill Waterson

“newborns reminded her of tiny buddhas”
― Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes

“The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.”
― Dave Barry

“Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

“I wonder if babies could be made more efficiently on a conveyer belt.”
― Jarod Kintz, Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

“I haven’t the faintest idea how babies are born, probably because I fainted on the day I was born.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“You can run. You can keep running to the ends of the earth. But I won’t be far behind you.”

“Ethan—”

“No. I will never be far behind you.” He tipped up my chin so that I could do nothing else but look back into his eyes. “Do the things you need to do. Learn to be a vampire, to be a warrior, to be the soldier you are capable of being. But consider the possibility that I made a mistake I regret—and that I’ll continue to regret that mistake and try to convince you to give me another chance until the earth stops turning.”
― Chloe Neill, Hard Bitten

“Jeff, I have a problem.”
“I’m glad you’ve finally realized I’m your answer, Merit.”
― Chloe Neill, Friday Night Bites

“Luc : It's time for our annual review of Rules You Disrespectful Bastards Never Follow.”
― Chloe Neill, Some Girls Bite

“Awkwardness, thy name is vampire.”
― Chloe Neill, Friday Night Bites

“Pec-tacle?
You know, like spectacle but with more dude nipples.”
― Chloe Neill, Twice Bitten