Alex > Alex's Quotes

“The turtle moves.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

“He..." Richard began. "The marquis. Well, you know, to be honest, he seems a little bit dodgy to me."

Door stopped. The steps dead-ended in a rough brick wall. "Mm," she agreed. "He's a little bit dodgy in the same way that rats are a little bit covered in fur.”
― Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere

“DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“We're on a mission from Glod.”
― Terry Pratchett, Soul Music

“I have dozens of loyal fans! Baker's dozens! …they come in thirteens.”
― Felicia Day

“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“If you try to to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands.”
― Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

“Goodness is about what you do. Not who you pray to.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff

“It's not lying when you do it to officers!”
― Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment

“Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.”
― Jim Butcher, Storm Front

“Star Trek?” I asked her. “Really?”
“What?” she demanded, bending unnaturally black eyebrows together.
“There are two kinds of people in the universe, Molly,” I said. “Star Trek fans and Star Wars fans. This is shocking.”
She sniffed. “This is the post-nerd-closet world, Harry. It’s okay to like both.”
“Blasphemy and lies,” I said.”
― Jim Butcher, Ghost Story

“The obedient Pit bull becomes the escaped tiger and it's got a knife”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Mogworld

“All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.”
― Alexandre Dumas

“If you ever need to confirm that a girl is worth coming back from Hell for, show her your monster arm and see what she says.”
― Richard Kadrey, Devil Said Bang

“It's still magic even if you know how it's done.”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

“Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thud!

“Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.”
― Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight

“The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.”
― Terry Pratchett

“What can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the Reaper Man?”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“Shadwell hated all southerners and, by inference, was standing at the North Pole.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“Just because you're an angel doesn't mean you have to be a fool.”
― Terry Pratchett

“Even nothing cannot last forever.”
― Neil Gaiman, American Gods

“Every hour wounds. The last one kills.”
― Neil Gaiman, American Gods

“Goodbyes are overrated.”
― Neil Gaiman, American Gods

“You can always cheat an honest man, but it takes more work.”
― Neil Gaiman, American Gods

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

“Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men.”
― Neil Gaiman

“Books make great gifts because they have whole worlds inside of them. And it's much cheaper to buy somebody a book than it is to buy them the whole world!”
― Neil Gaiman

“There were people who called themselves Satanists who made Crowley squirm. It wasn't just the things they did, it was the way they blamed it all on Hell. They'd come up with some stomach-churning idea that no demon could have thought of in a thousand years, some dark and mindless unpleasantness that only a fully-functioning human brain could conceive, then shout "The Devil Made Me Do It" and get the sympathy of the court when the whole point was that the Devil hardly ever made anyone do anything. He didn't have to. That was what some humans found hard to understand. Hell wasn't a major reservoir of evil, any more than Heaven, in Crowley's opinion, was a fountain of goodness; they were just sides in the great cosmic chess game. Where you found the real McCoy, the real grace and the real heart-stopping evil, was right inside the human mind.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“He had heard about talking to plants in the early seventies, on Radio Four, and thought it was an excellent idea. Although talking is perhaps the wrong word for what Crowley did.
What he did was put the fear of God into them.
More precisely, the fear of Crowley.
In addition to which, every couple of months Crowley would pick out a plant that was growing too slowly, or succumbing to leaf-wilt or browning, or just didn't look quite as good as the others, and he would carry it around to all the other plants. "Say goodbye to your friend," he'd say to them. "He just couldn't cut it. . . "
Then he would leave the flat with the offending plant, and return an hour or so later with a large, empty flower pot, which he would leave somewhere conspicuously around the flat.
The plants were the most luxurious, verdant, and beautiful in London. Also the most terrified.”
― Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch