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  • #1
    Author Harold Phifer
    “Regardless, they were as lovely as two bouquets of red roses
    Still, I remembered those hidden thorns! As a kid, they delivered a double dose of whip-ass that put more knots on my head than bumps on a toad frog. Yes, I had residual wounds and a set of T-shirts from those run-ins. The wrong wordor a misguided flirt could’ve restarted a continuum on my skull.
    Mary and Martha were Boss Chicks when I entered first grade. Jerry gave me big brotherly advice on how to greet beautiful girls. His Game: “Make eye contact, give off a big smile, and then tilt your cap.” Got it! I was down for a double fantasy. Well, as I approached the sisters and made the “Big Move,” unfortunately they delivered a few shots and a couple of jolts respectively to mycranium that rung every bell I had. Apparently, they didn’t like boys hitting on them at that stage of their youth. So, I learned to stay in my lane and never take any more tips from Jerry.”
    Harold Phifer, My Bully, My Aunt, & Her Final Gift

  • #2
    Steven Decker
    “The car was waiting for him, and in twenty minutes, he passed under the Broken Heart sign that used to read Tender Oak. Edward found it ironic that it was March. The harvest would begin soon. He’d first arrived at this place seventy-five years ago at the age of ten, in March, just before the harvest.”
    Steven Decker, One More Life to Live

  • #3
    Max Nowaz
    “You shall address me as ‘My Dearest’,’ he repeated in a mocking voice, trying to copy her tone. ‘You will forget all about this conversation when you leave this room.’ It was interesting that tone; it had a sort of hypnotising ring to it.”
    Max Nowaz, The Three Witches and the Master

  • #4
    “The first impressions with the ashram people
are these sparkling interior experiences. The eyeballs can be peepholes into the Milky Way and beyond. You may mumble under your breath that the ashram people could be on something.”
    Tom Hillman, Digging for God

  • #5
    Todor Bombov
    “Democracy is a pretty word. Democracy is a captivating magic. The oppressed classes always wanted and the oppressing ones always promised a democracy. But this was precisely for democracy that the both parts had always fought. The great French Revolution proclaimed the great appeal "Liberty, Equality, Fraternity". The history showed that from the class viewpoint, they could indicate different things, distinct contents; these concepts must be filled with different sense. In the class society, in the society locked in a state, Liberty is always at the top of somebody’s spear! Equality is the Achilles’ heel, into which this spear is plunged. Humanity is the pledge for plunging it by all force.  ”
    Todor Bombov, Socialism Is Dead! Long Live Socialism!: The Marx Code-Socialism with a Human Face

  • #6
    Sara Pascoe
    “What's that Einstein quote about expecting different results from the same person? I shouldn't feel bad - I'm here, aren't I, I'm not the parent who didn't even text. Or the one who locked themselves in their bedroom half of Christmas. Talking like this, it's become clear that we are the main parts. This has all been about us, the sisters. I hadn't realised. I tell my mouth not to share these thoughts and Dana offers me another cigarette.”
    Sara Pascoe, Weirdo

  • #7
    “Sometimes truths are what we run from, and sometimes they are what we seek.”
    R.D. Ronald, The Elephant Tree

  • #8
    J. Rose Black
    “Love was the quiet hum of a lullaby slipping pas sleeping ears on a late November evening.”
    J. Rose Black

  • #9
    Robert         Reid
    “Apparently it is also called the ‘Staff of Power’? It is an ancient relic that supposedly was found by the Blair clan in Bala and has been a protected by them over the centuries.
    Robert Reid – The Son”
    Robert Reid, The Son

  • #10
    Dawn Chalker
    “It was the worst moment of my life, to realize she was really gone, never to return.”
                Tara does not know what it would be like to have lived with the same person, loved the same person, for so many years, and suddenly have them not be with you ever again.”
    dawn chalker, Lost and Found

  • #11
    K.  Ritz
    “Snake Street is an area I should avoid. Yet that night I was drawn there as surely as if I had an appointment. 
    The Snake House is shabby on the outside to hide the wealth within. Everyone knows of the wealth, but facades, like the park’s wall, must be maintained. A lantern hung from the porch eaves. A sign, written in Utte, read ‘Kinship of the Serpent’. I stared at that sign, at that porch, at the door with its twisted handle, and wondered what the people inside would do if I entered. Would they remember me? Greet me as Kin? Or drive me out and curse me for faking my death?  Worse, would they expect me to redon the life I’ve shed? Staring at that sign, I pissed in the street like the Mearan savage I’ve become.
    As I started to leave, I saw a woman sitting in the gutter. Her lamp attracted me. A memsa’s lamp, three tiny flames to signify the Holy Trinity of Faith, Purity, and Knowledge.  The woman wasn’t a memsa. Her young face was bruised and a gash on her throat had bloodied her clothing. Had she not been calmly assessing me, I would have believed the wound to be mortal. I offered her a copper. 
    She refused, “I take naught for naught,” and began to remove trinkets from a cloth bag, displaying them for sale.
    Her Utte accent had been enough to earn my coin. But to assuage her pride I commented on each of her worthless treasures, fighting the urge to speak Utte. (I spoke Universal with the accent of an upper class Mearan though I wondered if she had seen me wetting the cobblestones like a shameless commoner.) After she had arranged her wares, she looked up at me. “What do you desire, O Noble Born?”
    I laughed, certain now that she had seen my act in front of the Snake House and, letting my accent match the coarseness of my dress, I again offered the copper.
     “Nay, Noble One. You must choose.” She lifted a strand of red beads. “These to adorn your lady’s bosom?”
                I shook my head. I wanted her lamp. But to steal the light from this woman ... I couldn’t ask for it. She reached into her bag once more and withdrew a book, leather-bound, the pages gilded on the edges. “Be this worthy of desire, Noble Born?”
     I stood stunned a moment, then touched the crescent stamped into the leather and asked if she’d stolen the book. She denied it. I’ve had the Training; she spoke truth. Yet how could she have come by a book bearing the Royal Seal of the Haesyl Line? I opened it. The pages were blank.
    “Take it,” she urged. “Record your deeds for study. Lo, the steps of your life mark the journey of your soul.”
      I told her I couldn’t afford the book, but she smiled as if poverty were a blessing and said, “The price be one copper. Tis a wee price for salvation, Noble One.”
      So I bought this journal. I hide it under my mattress. When I lie awake at night, I feel the journal beneath my back and think of the woman who sold it to me. Damn her. She plagues my soul. I promised to return the next night, but I didn’t. I promised to record my deeds. But I can’t. The price is too high.”
    K. Ritz, Sheever's Journal, Diary of a Poison Master

  • #12
    Vincent Bugliosi
    “The gun was lying next to the sprinkler, under a bush, about seventy-five feet - or halfway - up the steep hill. Steven had watched "Dragnet" on TV; he knew how guns should be handled. Picking it up very carefully by the top of the barrel, so as not to eradicate prints, Steven took the gun back to his house and showed it to his father, Bernard Weiss. The senior Weiss took one look and called LAPD.
    Officer Micheal Watson, on patrol in the area, responded to the radio call. More than a year later Steven would be asked to describe the incident from the witness stand:
    Q. "Did you show him [Watson] the gun?"
    A. "Yes."
    Q. "Did he touch the gun?"
    A. "Yes."
    Q. "How did he touch it?"
    A. "With both hands, all over the gun."
    So much for "Dragnet.”
    Vincent Bugliosi, Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders
    tags: funny

  • #13
    Robert Jordan
    “Life is a dream from which we all must wake before we can dream again.”
    Robert Jordan, The Fires of Heaven

  • #14
    Paula Hawkins
    “ليس عليّ إلا أن أترك نفسي أحس هذا الألم، لأنني إذا لم أفعل ذلك ... إذا بقيت أخدّر الألم ... فلن يزول مني أبداً”
    Paula Hawkins, The Girl on the Train

  • #15
    Graham Greene
    “Life would go out in a 'fraction of a second' (that was the phrase), but all night he had been realizing that time depends on clocks and the passage of light. There were no clocks and the light wouldn't change. Nobody really knew how long a second of pain could be. It might last a whole purgatory--or for ever.”
    Graham Greene, The Power and the Glory

  • #16
    Daniel Keyes
    “Although we know the end of the maze holds death (and it is something I have not always known—not long ago the adolescent in me thought death could happen only to other people), I see now that the path I choose through that maze makes me what I am.”
    Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algernon

  • #17
    Dr. Seuss
    “So... be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea, you're off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So... get on your way!”
    Dr. Seuss



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