Andy > Andy's Quotes

“He ain’t my friend,’ Harry said. ‘Not no more, he ain’t.’
Strax leaned across to Jenny. ‘At what age do these cubs become grammatical?’ he demanded.
‘Depends,’ she told him. ‘At what age do Sontarans become pacifists?”
― Justin Richards, Doctor Who: Devil in the Smoke

“You are blessed with luck, small one', he told Harry. 'Rejoice and give thanks - - someone wants you dead.”
― Justin Richards, Doctor Who: Devil in the Smoke

“Doors are for people with no imagination.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“You're not stealing anything, you're not breaking anything, so I'd guess you're Stephanie.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“What would killing the Elders result in?"
"Panic? Fear? Three empty parking spaces in the Sanctuary?”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“A living skeleton isn't enough for you, is it? What does it take to impress young people these days?”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Doesn't sunlight kill them? Doesn't it turn them to dust, or make them burst into flames or something?"
"Nope. Vampires tan, just like you and me. Well, just like you. I tend to bleach.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Are you going to shoot me?' Vengeous sneered. 'I wouldn't be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.'

And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“We didn't die,' she said.

Of course not. I'm too clever to die, and you're too pretty.'

I am pretty,' Valkryie said, managing a grin.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“That's beautiful,' Valkyrie said, looking at it.

Isn't it? This necklace has cost two very fine men their lives. At times, I wear it in tribute to their sacrifice. Other times, I wear it because it goes with this skirt.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“What is it with you women?" he yelled, kicking at the air. "You come into our lives, you take everythin'! Throughout the years you got little pieces of me, of my very SOUL, and NOW? Now you got my damn straight razor! How am I supposed to kill people? How am I supposed to even SHAVE?”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Ever killed anyone with a spoon?" she asked him.
"Uhhh..."
"Me neither, but I'm thinking of trying.”
― Rob J. Hayes, The Heresy Within

“Jezzet there isn't a man in this room who hasn't spent at least some time staring at you and you're without doubt the most graceful person I've ever seen. I'm sure you can find some way to distract them. Failing that just start ... you know ... killing people."
"Killing people?" [...]
"Yes. with a spoon if you like.”
― Rob J. Hayes, The Heresy Within

“The white city of Sarth in the Holy Empire of Sarth they called it but Betrim reckoned they'd get far more folk like himself making port if they added; city of good beer and clean women.”
― Rob J. Hayes, The Heresy Within

“Name the different kinds of people,’ said Miss Lupescu. ‘Now.’

Bod thought for a moment. ‘The living,’ he said. ‘Er. The dead.’ He stopped. Then, ‘... Cats?’ he offered, uncertainly.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

“The tongue is the most remarkable. For we use it both to taste out sweet wine and bitter poison, thus also do we utter words both sweet and sour with the same tongue.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

“You are obvious, boy. You are difficult to miss. If you came to me in company with a purple lion, a green elephant, and a scarlet unicorn astride which was the King of England in his Royal Robes, I do believe that it is you and you alone that people would stare at, dismissing the others as minor irrelevancies.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

“Nearly' only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

“And there are always people who find their lives have become so unsupportable they believe the best thing they could do would be to hasten their transition to another plane of existence.'
'They kill themselves, you mean?' said Bod. [...]
'Indeed.'
'Does it work? Are they happier dead?'
'Sometimes. Mostly, no. It's like the people who believe they'll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, but who learn it doesn't work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

“Bod shrugged. "So?" he said. "It's only death. I mean, all of my best friends are dead.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

“[...]but Lady Fairweather opposed the decision. Shortly afterwards she suffered from a sudden and unexpected case of being stabbed to death. She did not recover.”
― Rob J. Hayes, The Color of Vengeance

“Beeeeeeeeeer" slurred the drunk from the floor; stirring to life at the sound of alcohol.”
― Rob J. Hayes, The Color of Vengeance

“An inch lower and it would have taken of his nipple, not that he could see any reason for a man to keep his nipples. Women's nipples, now they were alright, attached to the breast as they were made them real nice to look at and even better to play with.”
― Rob J. Hayes, The Color of Vengeance

“Were you always like this?’
‘Like what?’
‘A madman. With a time machine.’
‘Oh, no. It took ages until I got the time machine.”
― Neil Gaiman, Doctor Who: Nothing O'Clock

“I’m very clever,’ said the Doctor. It was a good line, and he was determined to use it as much as possible.”
― Neil Gaiman, Doctor Who: Nothing O'Clock

“Could be anyone. The Kin. I mean... it’s like calling yourselves the People. It’s what pretty much every race-name means. Except for Dalek. That means Metal-Cased Hatey Death Machines in Skaronian.”
― Neil Gaiman, Doctor Who: Nothing O'Clock

“If I wasn’t born, what am I doing here?’
‘You’re an independent temporal nexus, chronosynclastically established as an inverse...’ He saw her expression, and stopped.
‘You’re telling me it’s timey-wimey, aren’t you?’
‘Yes,’ he said seriously. ‘I suppose I am.”
― Neil Gaiman, Doctor Who: Nothing O'Clock

“You’re enjoying this,’ said Amy. ‘My whole world has been taken over by a mysterious voice. All the people are extinct. Rory’s gone. And you’re enjoying this.’
‘No, I’m not,’ said the Doctor, trying hard not to show how much he was enjoying it.”
― Neil Gaiman, Doctor Who: Nothing O'Clock

“Weren't expecting this, were you, Mr. Detective? Probably thought, once a mountain fell on her, you'd seen the last of our sister, eh?"
"To be honest," Skulduggery said, "yes.”
― Derek Landy, Gold, Babies and the Brothers Muldoon

“The worst thing you can do is nothing.”
― Terry Pratchett, Snuff