Betty > Betty's Quotes

“A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“But give up my business? The same business I'd built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis Vuittons? The same business for which I'd sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears? Well, maybe not sweat and tears, but there was blood. Lots of blood. Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated.

Charley”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. "Do you still like me?"
"I never liked you."
Oh, right. He had a point.

Garreth & Charley”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“I started to put my phone back in my bag when Ozzy yelled out, his accent so thick, I was only half certain he said, "Where the foock are ya goin'?"

Uncle Bob jumped. I must've turned on my GPS.

"You have to tahn the foock around. You're in the middle of foockin' nowhere."

"What the hell is that?" Uncle Bob asked, almost swerving off the road.

"Sorry, it's Ozzy." I grabbed my phone and turned down the volume. "He's so demanding." I pushed a few buttons to turn off the app, then put the phone to my ear. "Sweet, buttermilk pancakes, Ozzy, you have to stop calling me. You're a married man!" I pretended to hang up, then rolled my eyes. "Rock stars.”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“I was freaking her out, but someone had to do it, damn it”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“I should’ve known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me”
― Darynda Jones , Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

“I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?”
“Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?”
“Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.”
“Charley.”
“Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“You said you wanted someone to know you. Maybe I just want to have someone know me too. Without you in this world, the memories of every moment we’ve shared together will be gone. We only exist because others see us. Part of my existence...an important part, only exists because you are here to see it.”
― Jessica Shirvington, Between the Lives

“My Sabine,
I just left your room. You were so beautiful lying there sound asleep that I couldn’t bear to wake you. But I’m not feeling so great and there are things I promised to tell you that I fear I may not get the chance to.
I know you had once hoped that I would be the one to pass on your letters to Maddie once you were gone. But, as it turns out, I think it is going to be me who ends up leaving the letters behind.
Be mad at me. You should. But after that try to understand that I did what I thought was best. I wanted to tell you. So many times I snuck down to your room planning on telling you everything, but I just couldn’t.
Partly it was for you – yes. You needed time and I didn’t want to influence your choices, even once I realised what was happening between us, even more so then. Falling in love with you only made those choices more complicated and I feared that you might choose to stay for me and then, after I was gone, change your mind. I couldn’t let that happen.
Partly the choice was selfish, and for that I am sorry. For so long now people have been trying to fix me, but where they failed, you succeeded. You’ve given me more life in the last couple of weeks that I’ve had in years. Being with you, loving you, making memories with you, fearing for you, wanting to show you the beauty of life instead of the terror – it was bittersweet, but more importantly Sabine, it was real.
I know this is the part when I beg you to go on, live your life and be happy. But I don’t need to say those things. I know you. Your lives will be extraordinary. You certainly made mine feel that way.
Please find it in your heart to forgive me one day. I wish we had more time, but I want to thank you – for giving me life in my time of death.
My love for you is eternal.
Ethan.”
― Jessica Shirvington, Between the Lives

“Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?"

"You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“The vampire stared at me, his mouth slack as Ghastek assessed his options. I took a couple of forms from my desk, put them into the vamp's mouth, and pulled them up by their edges.
"What are you doing?" Ghastek asked.
"My hole puncher broke."
"You have no respect for the undead.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“As he passed me, he leaned to Curran and handed him a paper fan folded from some sort of flyer.

Curran looked at the fan. “What?”
"An emergency precaution, Your Majesty. In case the lady faints.”

Curran just stared at him.

Raphael strode toward the Pit, turned, flexed a bit, and winked at me.

"Give me that,” I told Curran. “I need to fan myself.”
"No, you don’t.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“His Majesty needs a can-I girl anyway. And I'm not it."
"A can-I girl?" Andrea frowned.

I leaned back. "'Can I fetch your food, Your Majesty? Can I tell you how strong and mighty you are, Your Majesty? Can I pick your fleas, Your Majesty? Can I kiss your ass, Your Majesty? Can I..."

It dawned on me that Raphael was sitting very still. Frozen, like a statue, his gaze fixed on the point above my head. "He's standing behind me, isn't he?"

Andrea nodded slowly.

"Technically it should be 'may I'," Curran said, his voice deeper than I remembered. "Since you're asking for permission."

Why me?

"To answer your question, yes, you may kiss my ass. Normally I prefer maintain my personal space, but you're a Friend of the Pack and your services have proven useful once or twice. I strive to accommodate the wishes of persons friendly to my people. My only question is, would kissing my ass be obeisance, grooming, or foreplay?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“He leaned his head to me, his neck so close to my lips, I felt the heat coming off his skin. His breath was warm against my ear. His voice was a ragged snarl. "I miss you."
This wasn't happening.
"I worry about you." He dipped his head and looked into my eyes. "I worry something stupid will happen and I won't be there and you'll be gone. I worry we won't ever get a chance and it's driving me out of my skull."
No, no, no, no.........
We stared at each other. The tiny space between us felt too hot. Muscles bulged on his naked frame. He looked feral.
Mad gold eyes stared into mine. "Do you miss me, Kate?"
I closed my eyes trying to shut him out. I could lie then we would be back to square one. Nothing would be resolved. I'd still be alone, hating him and wanting him.
He grabbed my shoulders and shook me once. "Do you miss me?"
I took the plunge. "Yes.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“If you come, you better come in force because I will kill every single one of you. My hand won't shake, my aim won't falter. My face will be the last thing you'll see before you die." I jammed my knife into the table and walked out.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“...you expect me to fall on my back with my legs spread."
"Not necessarily. ... You can fall on your hands and knees if you prefer. Or against the wall. Or on the kitchen counter. I suppose I might let you be on top, if you make it worth my while.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Did he just rip out the engine?" I asked.
"Yes", Saiman said. "And now he is demolishing the Maserati with it."
Ten seconds later Curran hurled the twisted wreck of black and orange that used to be the Maserati into the wall.
The first melodic notes of an old song came from the computer. I glanced at Saiman.
He shrugged. "It begged for a soundtrack.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“He scooped me up and suddenly I was pressed against his chest. “Were you worried about me?”
"No, I’m ranting for fun, because I’m a disagreeable bitch!”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Are you sure you know where you're going?" Andrea frowned.
"Would you like me to pull over and ask that bamboo for directions?"
"I don't know, do you think it will answer?"
We peered at the bamboo.
"I think it looks suspicious," Andrea said.
"Maybe there is a heffalump hiding in it."
Andrea stared at me.
"You know, heffalump? From Pooh Bear?"
"Where do you even get this shit?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“I turned to leave and paused before the gap in the ruined wall. "One last thing, Your Majesty. I'd like a name I can put into my report, something shorter than typing out 'The Leader of the Southern Shapechanger Faction.' What should I call you?"
"Lord."
I rolled my eyes.
He shrugged. "It's short.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“You're an interesting woman."
"Your interest has been duly noted.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“How was I supposed to know that you let two little bears hurt you, Goldilocks?"
"Ah, yes, that mouth. I missed it. All mine now.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“I think I've been rather reasonable about this whole situation."
"How do you figure?"
"They are still breathing, aren't they?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“I said, I know why you’re afraid to fight with me.”
"And why is that?” If he flexed again, I’d have to implement emergency measures. Maybe I could kick some sand at him or something. Hard to look hot brushing sand out of your eyes.
"You want me.”
Oh boy.
"You can’t resist my subtle charm, so you’re afraid you’re going to make a spectacle out of yourself.”
"You know what? Don’t talk to me.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“What's that?"
"That's my attack poodle.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“You know anything about investigative work?"
"Sure. Annoy the people involved until the guilt party tries to make you go away.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“I know it's late, but could you find a book for me? It's called The Slavs: Study of Pagan Tradition by Osvintsev."
Barabas sighed dramatically. "Kate, you make me despair. Let's try that again from the top, except this time pretend you are an alpha."
"I don't need a lecture. I just need the book."
"Much better. Little more growl in the voice?"
"Barabas!"
"And we're there. Congratulations!”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“Did those nice church ladies come by again?"
He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else.”
― Ilona Andrews, Gunmetal Magic