Humor Books Quotes

“هناك دافعان لقراءة كتاب ما : الأول هو الاستمتاع به ، والثاني هو التباهي بقراءته”
― برتراند راسل

“I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?”
“Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?”
“Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.”
“Charley.”
“Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“Ta-ta?” she asked Jack, once Jessica was out of earshot. “I can't believe you went out with a woman who uses that interjection.”
“I can't believe I'm ‘going out’ with a woman who uses the word ‘interjection.”
― Jennifer Shirk, Fiance by Fate

“Oh, yeah, this girl was going down. She had no idea who she was messing with. And, sadly, she didn’t seem to care.
I hoped her drawer came up short at the end of her shift. Karma’s a bitch.”
― Darynda Jones, Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

“The answer to all of life's problems are out there somewhere its just a question of finding the right book”
― Tammy Blackwell

“Careful,” he chided with a grin. “First you talk marriage and now you're telling me what to eat. You're sounding more and more like a real girlfriend every day. Just remember, this is still our first date, so keep your hands to yourself tonight. I'm not one of those guys.”
― Jennifer Shirk, Fiance by Fate

“Using Facebook is like taking a Dyson to your spare time.”
― Gemini Adams, The Facebook Diet: 50 Funny Signs of Facebook Addiction and Ways to Unplug with a Digital Detox

“Facebook has been spreading across the continents faster than a highly contagious Asian bird flu!”
― Gemini Adams, The Facebook Diet: 50 Funny Signs of Facebook Addiction and Ways to Unplug with a Digital Detox

“I ought to warn you, dear, he can get rather wild when he’s hungry”
― Wilkie martin, Inspector Hobbes and the Blood

“He had been inspired to start a career in the porn industry after reading the incredible tale of a Japanese man who avenged the death of his sister by going down on her best friend for seven days and seven nights.”
― Mark Jackman, Shadow of the Badger

“The whiter the bread, the quicker you're dead. Stick with barley and spelt.”
― Ken O'Neill, The Marrying Kind

“What Would Jesus Eat?”
― Brad Barkley

“Surely not, there’s no way, not jail… Right?”
― Joan Rylen

“There can be funny moments during sad stories”
― Ammon Shea, The Phone Book: The Curious History of the Book That Everyone Uses But No One Reads

“A comedian is better than a politician; at least there is no doubt.”
― Bangambiki Habyarimana, The Great Pearl of Wisdom

“Comedians love people to point and laugh at them, naturists don't.”
― Roy Station

“If it ain.t broke, don't fix it!”
― Neale McClintock, A Curmudgeon's True Tales of the Outdoors or Maybe Not

“Some men need to realize that we have it a lot easier than women, especially those women with irritable bowel syndrome.”
― Nolan Yuma