Emily > Emily's Quotes

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

“The Winter Woman is as wild as a blizzard, as fresh as new snow. While some see her as cold, she has a fiery heart under that ice-queen exterior. She likes the stark simplicity of Japanese art and the daring complexity of Russian literature. She prefers sharp to flowing lines, brooding to pouting, and rock and roll to country and western. Her drink is vodka, her car is German, her analgesic is Advil. The Winter Woman likes her men weak and her coffee strong. She is prone to anemia, hysteria, and suicide.”
― Christopher Moore, Bloodsucking Fiends

“She had a lot of nerve signing her note "Love." [...] But she did sign it that way: "Love." What did that mean? Did she mean it, or was it habit? She probably signed all of her letters with "Love." Dear Insured, We are sorry but your policy will not pay for your barium enema as it was done for recreational purposes. Love, Jody. Claims Dept...
Maybe not.”
― Christopher Moore, Bloodsucking Fiends

“Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda. Don't tell me what you're studying, Steve, tell me what's in your soul. What haunts you?"
And he was like, "Dude, you need to cut back on the caffeine.”
― Christopher Moore, You Suck

“Let me say right here, if I haven't made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in the last twenty-four hours to bruise my delicate psyche for a lifetime, so don't be surprised if you someday find me wandering the moors at midnight, a crazed look in my eye, babbling about albino Tater Tots nesting in Brillo pads and being pursued by sagging man ass, because that shit can happen when you've been traumatized.”
― Christopher Moore, You Suck

“She gave him the wide, green-eyed expression that she would have described as I will slap you so far into next week that it will take a team of surgeons just to get Wednesday out of your ass.”
― Christopher Moore, You Suck

“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.”
― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

“It's never too late to have a happy childhood.”
― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“Tuesdays were my favorite day. I don't remember why-it was just something about the way that u looked like when it was next to e that seemed very friendly.”
― Maggie Stiefvater

“A sense of humor...is superior to any religion so far devised.”
― Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume

“The vampire stared at me, his mouth slack as Ghastek assessed his options. I took a couple of forms from my desk, put them into the vamp's mouth, and pulled them up by their edges.
"What are you doing?" Ghastek asked.
"My hole puncher broke."
"You have no respect for the undead.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork?"
"Yep."
"Is he carrying the moon on his pitchfork?"
"Nope it's a pie.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Now climb, young grasshopper, so your Kung Fu won't be weak.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Why a raven?"
"To honor my father."
"The writing under it, is that Cyrillic?"
"Yes."
"What does it say?"
"Dar Vorona. Gift of the Raven. I am my father's gift."
"The raven is holding a bloody sword."
"I never said it was a nice gift.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“He cupped her face in his hands, made her meet his gaze. Solemnly, he said, “I heard you say that when two people love each other, they fight through everything together. Every doubt, every challenge, every pain. Fight with me, Mina. Please. You are the only one for me, for as long as I live. And if you love me, fight with me.”
― Meljean Brook, The Iron Duke

“Aghast, Yasmeen gaped at her before looking to the duke. "It's worse than I thought. Not just the Horde, not just the police- you're keeping company with someone who has principles.”
― Meljean Brook, The Iron Duke

“A karaoke bar?" Mitch glared at him. "You dragged us to a karaoke bar?"

"She didn't tell me it was karaoke."

"You know it's bad enough having to listen to you guys howl all the time. But this...this may be asking too much. Dogs. Singing." Mitch turned to the bar and lashed Smitty with another glare. "And no goddamn liquor. You know, as per shifter law, I could legally kill you.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Beast in Him

“Angelina leaned forward as Sara pulled Miki back to her, "You know what they say about curiosity? That it stabbed the annoying biker girl over and over and over again until she spit up blood.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Pack Challenge

“I never knew she liked country music," Smitty said in awe.

Yeah, that must make her prime mate material for a Smith. She'll fit right in at one of your hootenannies."

-Mitch to Smitty”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Beast in Him

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
― Mark Twain

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
― Steve Martin

“She says that what you did was a cry for help."

"It was," I say. "That's why I was yelling 'Heeeelp!' I don't really go in for subtlety.”
― Holly Black, White Cat

“As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.”
― Mel Brooks

“Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.”
― Mel Brooks