Lance Greenfield > Lance's Quotes

“A teaspoonful of semen contains the same amount of protein as the white of one egg. However, the consumption of semen can be much more fun.”
― Miriam Stoppard

“Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.”
― William Butler Yeats

“I only have one prejudice, and that is against those who are prejudiced.”
― Lance Greenfield

“Everyone appreciates being appreciated.”
― Lance Greenfield

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
― Mark Twain

“I'm not young enough to know everything.”
― J.M. Barrie, The Admirable Crichton

“Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post what it feels about dogs."

[Time Magazine, October 31, 1977]”
― John Osborne

“We are at the very beginning of time for the human race. It is not unreasonable that we grapple with problems. But there are tens of thousands of years in the future. Our responsibility is to do what we can, learn what we can, improve the solutions, and pass them on.”
― Richard P. Feynman

“An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“There can't be a crisis next week, my schedule is already full.”
― Henry Kissinger

“Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand.”
― Archibald Putt

“The best moments in reading are when you come across something – a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things – which you had thought special and particular to you. Now here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out and taken yours.”
― Alan Bennett, The History Boys

“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.”
― Spike Milligan

“Philosophers say a great deal about what is absolutely necessary for science, and it is always, so far as one can see, rather naive, and probably wrong.”
― Richard Feynman

“Language is the source of misunderstandings.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers.”
― Richard Feynman

“For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled.”
― Richard P. Feynman

“How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.”
― Benjamin Disraeli

“Mathematics rightly viewed possesses not only truth but supreme beauty.”
― Bertrand Russell

“Father!
My father knows the proper way
The nation should be run;
He tells us children every day
Just what should now be done.
He knows the way to fix the trusts,
He has a simple plan;
But if the furnace needs repairs,
We have to hire a man.
My father, in a day or two
Could land big thieves in jail;
There's nothing that he cannot do,
He knows no word like "fail."
"Our confidence" he would restore,
Of that there is no doubt;
But if there is a chair to mend,
We have to send it out.

All public questions that arise,
He settles on the spot;
He waits not till the tumult dies,
But grabs it while it's hot.
In matters of finance he can
Tell Congress what to do;
But, O, he finds it hard to meet
His bills as they fall due.

It almost makes him sick to read
The things law-makers say;
Why, father's just the man they need,
He never goes astray.
All wars he'd very quickly end,
As fast as I can write it;
But when a neighbor starts a fuss,
'Tis mother has to fight it.

In conversation father can
Do many wondrous things;
He's built upon a wiser plan
Than presidents or kings.
He knows the ins and outs of each
And every deep transaction;
We look to him for theories,
But look to ma for action”
― Edgar Albert Guest

“Everything you can imagine is real.”
― Pablo Picasso

“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.”
― Barack Obama

“I'm a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”
― Thomas Jefferson

“Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages.”
― Thomas A. Edison

“The world is more like it is now then it ever has before.”
― Dwight Eisenhower

“End with an image and don't explain.”
― Stanley Kunitz, The Collected Poems

“The universe is a continuous web. Touch it at any point and the whole web quivers.”
― Stanley Kunitz

“A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight.”
― Robertson Davies

“Joy is the best makeup.”
― Anne Lamott, Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith

“Your father, Jo. He never loses patience, never doubts or complains, but always hopes, and works and waits so cheerfully that one is ashamed to do otherwise before him.”
― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women