Claus Jepsen > Claus's Quotes

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“I don't accept the currently fashionable assertion that any view is automatically as worthy of respect as any equal and opposite view. My view is that the moon is made of rock. If someone says to me 'Well, you haven't been there, have you? You haven't seen it for yourself, so my view that it is made of Norwegian Beaver Cheese is equally valid' - then I can't even be bothered to argue. There is such a thing as the burden of proof, and in the case of god, as in the case of the composition of the moon, this has shifted radically. God used to be the best explanation we'd got, and we've now got vastly better ones. God is no longer an explanation of anything, but has instead become something that would itself need an insurmountable amount of explaining. So I don't think that being convinced that there is no god is as irrational or arrogant a point of view as belief that there is. I don't think the matter calls for even-handedness at all.”
― Douglas Adams

“We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“God's Final Message to His Creation:
'We apologize for the inconvenience.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.”
― William W. Purkey

“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”
― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

“As your lover describes you, so you are.”
― Jeanette Winterson, Sexing the Cherry

“Where there is great love, there are always miracles.”
― Willa Cather

“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. ”
― Fran Lebowitz

“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add

“If you can work anywhere, anytime, then pretty soon you're working everywhere all the time.”
― Judy Nichols, Tree Huggers

“Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. ”
― William James

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
― H. Jackson Brown Jr., P.S. I Love You

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?
Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.”
― George Carlin

“Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.”
― Scott Adams

“I get mail; therefore I am.”
― Scott Adams

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”
― Scott Adams

“I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.”
― Scott Adams

“The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.”
― Scott Adams

“Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.”
― Scott Adams, Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

“The main difference between marketing and fraud is that criminals have to pay for their own alcohol.”
― Scott Adams, Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

“Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.”
― Scott Adams