Anonymous > Anonymous's Quotes

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  • #1
    I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control
    “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
    ― Marilyn Monroe
    tags: attributed-no-source, best, life, love, misattributed-marilyn-monroe, mistakes, out-of-control, truth, worst
    165287 likes

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  • #2
    Bernard M. Baruch
    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
    ― Bernard M. Baruch
    tags: ataraxy, be-yourself, confidence, fitting-in, individuality, misattributed-dr-seuss, those-who-matter
    130244 likes

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  • #3
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148470 likes

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  • #4
    Frank Zappa
    “So many books, so little time.”
    ― Frank Zappa
    tags: books, humor
    151615 likes

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  • #5
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    ― Narcotics Anonymous
    tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein
    64682 likes

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  • #6
    Jane Austen
    “The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
    ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey
    tags: aliteracy, books, classic, humor
    51619 likes

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  • #7
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    37988 likes

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  • #8
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34470 likes

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  • #9
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32143 likes

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  • #10
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein
    tags: cats, humor, women
    28799 likes

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  • #11
    Jim Henson
    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
    ― Jim Henson
    26435 likes

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  • #12
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24392 likes

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  • #13
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: death, fear, humor, life
    25655 likes

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  • #14
    Alexandre Dumas fils
    “The difference between genius and stupidity is: genius has its limits.”
    ― Alexandre Dumas-fils
    tags: misattributed-to-einstein
    21519 likes

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  • #15
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor, scifi
    23459 likes

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  • #16
    I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!
    “I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: humor, mankind, people
    18545 likes

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  • #17
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
    tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
    21431 likes

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  • #18
    George Carlin
    “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: humor, insanity, lies, lying, self-indulgence, truth
    19798 likes

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  • #19
    “Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?”
    ― Terry Johnson, Insignificance
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-marilyn-monroe, philosophy
    13822 likes

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  • #20
    Rita Mae Brown
    “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.”
    ― Rita Mae Brown
    tags: humor, insanity
    12679 likes

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  • #21
    C.E.M. Joad
    “Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
    ― C.E.M. Joad
    tags: creativity, humor, misattributed-to-einstein, paraphrased
    13075 likes

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  • #22
    J.K. Rowling
    “Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
    "Yes," said Harry stiffly.
    "Yes, sir."
    "There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
    The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
    tags: humor, rebellion, sarcasm
    15172 likes

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  • #23
    Cassandra Clare
    “I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."
    "Well," said Luke, "you're doing a fantastic job.”
    ― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes
    tags: clary-fray, demons, growing-up, humor, jace-wayland, luke, teenager
    12356 likes

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  • #24
    Cassandra Clare
    “Jesus!" Luke exclaimed.
    "Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Although I've been told the resemblance is startling.”
    ― Cassandra Clare
    tags: humor, jace-wayland, simon-lewis
    13661 likes

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  • #25
    Douglas Adams
    “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
    tags: attributed-no-source, humor, misattributed-douglas-adams, wit
    11372 likes

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  • #26
    Oscar Levant
    “There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
    ― Oscar Levant
    tags: genius, humor, insanity
    9903 likes

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  • #27
    Terry Pratchett
    “Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
    tags: humor
    10165 likes

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  • #28
    J.K. Rowling
    “He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
    tags: humor, shampoo
    10178 likes

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  • #29
    J.K. Rowling
    “Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.
    Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.
    Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.
    Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
    tags: harry-potter, humor, james-potter, remus-lupin, sirius-black, snape, wormtail
    10340 likes

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  • #30
    J.K. Rowling
    “Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again.
    "So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
    tags: death, humor, sarcasm
    9386 likes



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attributed-no-source
best
life
love
misattributed-marilyn-monroe
mistakes
out-of-control
truth
worst
ataraxy
be-yourself
confidence
fitting-in
individuality
misattributed-dr-seuss
those-who-matter
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
books
insanity
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
aliteracy
classic
animals
dogs
friends
deadlines
humour
work
writing
cats
women
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
death
fear
scifi
mankind
people
open-mind
thinking
lies
lying
self-indulgence
misattributed-to-marilyn-monroe
creativity
paraphrased
rebellion
sarcasm
clary-fray
demons
growing-up
jace-wayland
luke
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simon-lewis
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wit
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shampoo
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james-potter
remus-lupin
sirius-black
snape
wormtail