Adele > Adele's Quotes

“I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since.”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum”
― Janet Evanovich, Two for the Dough

“One of us should stop her," Ranger said to Morelli, his eyes fixed on me.
"Not going to be me," Morelli said. "Have you ever tried to stop her from doing something she wanted to do?"
"Haven't had much success at it," Ranger said.
Morelli rocked on his heels. "One thing I've learned about Stephanie over the years, she's not good at taking orders."
"Has authority issues," Ranger said.
"And if you piss her off, she'll get even. She ran me over with her father's Buick once and broke my leg."
That got a small smile out of Ranger.
"Nice to see you boys bonding," I said.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“In my opinion, the only good spider is a dead spider, and women's rights aren't worth dick if they mean I can't ask a man to do my bug squashing.”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“I hate mornings. They start so early.”
― Janet Evanovich, Plum Spooky

“Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.”
― Janet Evanovich, Eleven on Top

“Babe," Ranger said. "You're looking a little strung out. Is there anything I should know?"
I'm on a sugar withdrawal. I've given up desert and it's all I can think about." That had been true five minutes ago. Now that Ranger was standng in front of me I was thinking a cupcake wasn't what I actually needed.
Maybe I can help you get your mind off doughnuts," Ranger said.
My mouth dropped open, and I think some drool might have dribbled out.”
― Janet Evanovich

“I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet.

"Fainted," I said.

Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at him. "Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a rock."

"Well, the rock fainted.”
― Janet Evanovich, Fearless Fourteen

“Truth is, I'm a good Catholic girl. The faith has always been elusive, but the guilt is intractable. ”
― Janet Evanovich, Plum Spooky

“I shot that sucker right in the gumpy."
Grandma Mazur”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?"
It's a street name," Ranger said. "I was a Ranger in the army."
I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant."
My father's mouth dropped open and a piece of ham fell out.
My mother froze, her fork poised in midair.
That's sort of a joke," I told Grandma. "Rangers don't get dogs pregnant in real life."
I looked at Ranger for corroboration and got another smile.”
― Janet Evanovich, Three to Get Deadly

“Then I had to decide if I needed to wear shoes that kicked ass or were good for ass kicking, on account of there's a difference you know. ~ Finger Lickin' Fifteen”
― Janet Evanovich

“Good thing he's dead," Lula said, "or that would have hurt like the devil.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hot Six

“Adaptation is one of the great advantages to being born and bred in Jersey. We're simply not bested by bad air or tainted water. We're like that catfish with lungs. Take us out of our environment and we can grow whatever body parts we need to survive. After Jersey the rest of the country's a piece of cake. You want to send someone into a fallout zone? Get him from Jersey. He'll be fine.”
― Janet Evanovich, Three to Get Deadly

“The golden years are for pussies. We went straight to brass.”
― Janet Evanovich, Fearless Fourteen

“There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.”
― Janet Evanovich

“You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)”
― Janet Evanovich, Finger Lickin' Fifteen

“It's been almost a month since you found a body. I knew you were due."
Carl Costanza - Seven Up”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“It was Lorraine in her nightie and Mo in his cap. They'd just settled their brains for a long winter's nap in front of the television. When out in the lot there arose such a clatter, they sprang from their recliners to see what was the matter. Away to the window they flew like a flash, tore open the blinds and threw up the sash. And what to their wondering eyes should appear, but Stephanie Plum and yet another of her cars burning front to rear.”
― Janet Evanovich