Roman > Roman's Quotes

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
― George Carlin

“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!”
― George Carlin

“Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.
I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.”
― George Carlin

“Quality means doing it right when no one is looking.”
― Henry Ford

“Atheism is a non-prophet organization.”
― George Carlin

“Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.”
― George Carlin

“I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.”
― George Carlin

“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.”
― Thomas Sowell

“People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.”
― George Carlin

“In God we trust: all others pay cash.”
― Jean Shepherd, In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash

“I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.”
― George Carlin

“What if there were no hypothetical questions?”
― George Carlin

“We do not simply live in this universe. The universe lives within us.”
― Neil deGrasse Tyson, Astrophysics for People in a Hurry

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
― Mark Twain

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
― Mark Twain

“Behind every great man there is a woman rolling her eyes.”
― Jim Carey

“Eternity is awful long time, especially towards the end.”
― Woody Allen

“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself within”
― Will Durant, The Story of Philosophy: The Lives and Opinions of the World's Greatest Philosophers

“Anticipating the end of the world is humanity's oldest pastime”
― David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas

“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”
― Woody Allen

“I don’t understand why when we destroy something created by man we call it vandalism, but when we destroy something by nature we call it progress.”
― Ed Begley Jr.

“Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live.”
― Jim Rohn

“Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”
― Benjamin Franklin

“Fiction is the truth inside the lie.”
― Stephen King

“We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.”
― Benjamin Franklin

“Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

“A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.”
― Albert Einstein