Abusive Father Quotes

“The happy family is a myth for many.”
― Carolyn Spring

“Because the child does not have the power to withhold consent, she does not have the power to grant it.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Father-Daughter Incest

“Though all the daughters eventually succeeded in escaping from their families, they felt, even at this time of the interview (while in their 20s and 30s) that they would never be safe with their fathers, and that they would have to defend themselves as long as their fathers lived.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Father-Daughter Incest

“It is acknowledged that father-daughter incest occurs on a large scale in the United States. Sexual abuse has now been included in child abuse legislation. A conservative estimate is that more than 1 million women have been sexually victimized by their fathers or other male relatives, but the true figure probably is much higher. Many victims still fear reporting incest, and families continued to collude to keep the situation secret. Issues of family privacy and autonomy remain troublesome even when incest is reported and must be resolved for treatment to be effective. " Mary de Chesnay J. Psychosoc. Nurs. Med. Health Sep. 22:9-16 Sept 1984 reprinted in Talbott's 1986 edition”
― John A. Talbott, Year Book of Psychiatry and Applied Mental Health (Volume 2008)

“Sexual abuse of children now presents society with the ultimate crisis of patriarchy, when children refuse to protect their fathers by keeping secrets.”
― Beatrix Campbell

“Implicit [in the psychiatric literature] is a set of normative assumptions regarding the father's prerogatives and the mother's obligations within the family, The father, like the children, is presumed to be entitled to the mother's love, nurturance, and care. In fact, his dependent needs actually supersede those of the children, for if a mother falls to provide the accustomed intentions, it is taken for granted that some other female must be found to take her place. The oldest daughter is a frequent choice... The father's wish, indeed his right, to continue to receive female nurturance, whatever the circumstances, is accepted without question.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Father-Daughter Incest

“Emotional abuse is the sustained, reptitive, inappropriate, emotional responses to the child's felt emotions and their accompanying expressive behaviour. Emotional abuse impedes emotional development. In babies, it also impedes the onset of speech development. It retards the process through which a child acquires the ability to feel and express different emotions appropriately, and eventually, to regulate and control them. It impacts adversely on (a) the child's eductional, social, and cultural development; (b) psychological development; (c) relationships in adulthood; and (d) career prospects.”
― Kieran O'Hagan, Identifying Emotional And Psychological Abuse: A Guide For Childcare Professionals: A Guide for Childcare Professionals

“As long as fathers rule but do not nurture, as long as mothers nurture but do not rule, the conditions favoring the development of father-daughter incest will prevail.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Father-Daughter Incest

“The shared secret and the shared denial are the most horrible aspects of incest.”
― John Bradshaw, Bradshaw on the Family: A New Way of Creating Solid Self-Esteem

“The little girl's dependency on her father made [his] abuse more insidious.”
― Joan Frances Casey, The Flock: The Autobiography of a Multiple Personality

“[The incestuous father...] may be unconsciously seeking revenge against either his wife or his mother for what he considers a variety of emotional crimes against him.”
― Susan Forward, Betrayal of Innocence: Incest and Its Devastation

“Women need total life support services for the mother as she and the family move through the crisis following disclosure.”
― Janis Tyler Johnson, Mothers of Incest Survivors: Another Side of the Story

“I realized that the childish impression I had always had of my father, as Just Lawgiver, was entirely wrong. We were utterly dependent on this man, who was not only deluded and ignorant, but incompetent in every way. What was more, I knew that my mother was incapable of standing up to him. It was like walking into the cockpit of an airplane and finding the pilot and co-pilot passed out drunk in their seats. And standing outside the Lyceum, I was struck with a black, incredulous horror, which in fact was not at all unlike the horror I had felt at twelve, sitting on a bar stool in our sunny little kitchen in Plano. Who is in control here? I thought, dismayed. Who is flying this plane?”
― Donna Tartt, The Secret History

“I should hate you for all you’ve done to me. rotten blood is not thicker than water: I would not wish that pain on anybody. I did not deserve that, you know i did not deserve that. yet i stand here and i forgive you.”
― franz kafka

“There was something about the house when Father was home. The air denser, hushed. Voices no more than whispers. It was as if the house held its breath, hoping, as I did, that Father would not erupt.”
― Tess Thompson, A Match for a Bookish Bride