Bum Quotes

“Dale was tempted to rip the electronic pad from its stand and shove it up the barista’s ass while shouting, “Here’s your goddamn tip, you inflated asshat. You’re no different than a bum on the street holding out a cup.” Instead, he merely pressed the NO TIP box and collected the receipt that spat out of the machine. He knew that once the barista was privy to his selection she would hand him his drink with eyes drenched in disdain as if she just found out he was the Unabomber or something.”
― Jasun Ether, The Beasts of Success

“And I sort of felt her...you know."

Alan made an exaggerated shape of a heart.

"You touched her heart?" Mike queried.

"No! Her bum. It's sort of, you know, heart shaped. Big heart."

He flexed his fingers, remembering the feel of it. "Soft.”
― Angela Verdenius, The Virgin Sex Queen

“You know... the word "homeless", gives you this very negative image. A filthy raggedy hobo... it's no good. It's too demeaning of a word if you ask me. It's just not politically correct enough... If it were up to me, I'd rather we be called "residentially challenged”
― Nobuyuki Fukumoto, Saikyō Densetsu Kurosawa 9

“Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Some people ate less food less often when they each had a home than they now do as hobos.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“In this neighborhood, with only forty-five cents, you're a bum. But Sobotnik, even with two dollars, he's still a bum.”
― Nelson Algren, The Neon Wilderness

“It is so hot, my butt crack is like an oasis!”
― Steven Magee

“but as the food went down with the
sayings
the appetite and digestion went along with them.

it seemed to me that I had never met
another person on earth
as discouraging to my happiness
as my father.

and it appeared that I had the same effect upon him.

"You are a bum," he told me, "and you'll always be a bum!"

and I thought, if being a bum is to be the
opposite of what this son-of-a-bitch
is, then that's what I'm going to be.

and it's too bad he's been dead
so long
for now he can't see
how beautifully I've succeeded
at
that.”
― Charles Bukowski, You Get So Alone at Times That it Just Makes Sense

“I am a worthy cause," said Jack. "No. You are a bum," said the man.”
― Janet Schulman, Jack the bum and the Halloween handout

“Read as much as you can to keep the mind as supple as a baby's bum.”
― Jeff Bjune, Write It Now

“He wondered if he'd be better off staying at the bum shelter with his false bum and forgetting about his real bum. But he couldn't. His bum was trying to take over the world.”
― Griffiths, Andy

“Stenchgator, the Great Unwiped Bum... was listed in the Bumper Book of Bums as the stinkiest bum in the world. Most bums only registered one or two points on the Rectum scale, but Stenchgator came in at a nose-bruising 9.8 points.”
― Griffiths, Andy

“Some people do just enough to keep you around because they are AFRAID to know what life would be like without you”
― O. S. Hickman

“Never upset the person that wipes your bum!”
― Steven Magee

“There is nothing worse than a sweaty bum crack.”
― Steven Magee

“A sweaty bum crack will become the norm in a climate changed world.”
― Steven Magee

“Shit will happen. Don't stop eating.”
― Vineet Raj Kapoor

“You have to be like a worm to go through shit.”
― Vineet Raj Kapoor

“Every bum can throw some shit.”
― Vineet Raj Kapoor

“The shit once descends into the colon, will refuse to go back. You have to face the shit. Think well before you speak”
― Vineet Raj Kapoor

“It's when you bury your head in the sand that you leave your brain exposed.”
― Anthony T. Hincks

“Writing books makes my bum sore!”
― Steven Magee

“ow a hobo is a different breed of cat than you think. Oh, people are getting educated to the idea that a hobo will work and move on, whereas a tramp will mooch and move on, and a bum will mooch and hang around, but you still find folks who are ignorant enough to call us bums.”
― ROBLES, JR.