Chaplaincy Quotes

“Thus, to receive spiritual help in time of need requires, first of all, not to deny but to affirm the search. Painful questions must be raised, faced, and then lived. This means that we must constantly avoid the temptation of offering or accepting simple answers, to be easy defenders of God, the Church, the tradition, or whatever we feel called to defend. Experience suggests that such glib apologetics animate hostility and anger, and finally a growing alienation from whom or what we are trying to defend. Be careful when life’s questions swirl around you in times of pain. Beware of easy answers or guarantees. Seek the companionship of others who will befriend you and listen as you live the questions of your life.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen, Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith

“Responding well to others, especially survivors of wrongdoing, may require that we open ourselves to hearing something other than what we expect or want to hear, even when what we hear threatens our ideas about how the world is ordered—as listening to survivor testimony might do. Only a self capable of being jolted out of its mundane complacency is up to the task of both hearing what repair demands and helping to invent new responses to harms that no preexisting remedy fully comprehends.”
― Jill Stauffer, Ethical Loneliness: The Injustice of Not Being Heard

“After thousands of hours at the bedside and thousands of hours in education with my students, one thing I’ve come to understand is that of all the contagious things in a hospital—measles and tuberculosis and Covid-19—nothing is easier to catch than anxiety. It spreads faster than you can say, “I’m nervous.” And almost always, the most anxious person in the room is the last to be aware of it, even after they’ve infected everyone around them.”
― Keith Wakefield

“Sidenote on crying: there’s a procedure for that, too.
More specifically, the procedure involves what to do about tissues. I teach my students crying is an effective way to express and release emotion. When patients and family members are vulnerable enough to cry in front of us, they give us a beautiful gift. Handing someone a box of tissues as soon as the tears start falling might feel helpful, but it can also send the message, “You’re making me uncomfortable. Please stop crying.”
If I immediately shove a tissue box in someone’s face, the tears often stop. I’ve interrupted the flow of emotion. Instead, I just locate the tissue box in the room with my eyes. I don’t push it away like some sadist if the patient reaches for it; but until they do, or until they let out a sigh and start looking around the room for the box, I just let them talk and cry. Let the tears soak their hands, their sleeves, their blankets, whatever is available—let it all pour out! When they’re ready, their body language will let me know. Then I’ll hand them the tissues.”
― Keith Wakefield