Crass Quotes

“I only have one condition,” she warned.
Was it the moon she wanted me to give her? I was open to that. I’d give her the sun, too. I just needed a little time, and maybe a loan or two.
And definitely good life insurance”
― L.J. Shen, Playing with Fire

“What is the value of sensitives? Look around: we live in a ugly and stupid world which could have been prevented if sensitives had been present, and had the power to influence things.

That block-shaped, pressed concrete, ugly shopping mall? The princess would opine that no one could have any peace of mind with such hideous backgrounds, and demand something like a traditional building, with ornate spires and comfortable human spaces instead.

Grating, two-note music ranting about copulation and projected sexual desire? No princess would want this crass gibberish around her, nor would she recognize music which neglected the finer parts of composition, melody, harmony, rhythm, and narrative. She would hire Schubert instead.

Schools that treat students like livestock, jobs that are jails, marriages that are suicide pacts, and boring tract housing? Similarly, a princess would have no use for those, and perceive that these would be abusive to her so must be to others as well.

As children, we made fun of the sensitivity of the princess. A pea, under twenty mattresses, really? The point — in the visual-metaphorical language of fable, religion, literature, and conspiracy theory — tells us that sensitivity is in fact needed, and it needs power to save the rest of us from what we do not yet perceive.

In this story, the princess is simply a finer instrument. After twenty years, we might notice that we woke up tired in the mornings, and eventually investigate and find the pea, but she knew right away, intuitively and by the nature of her character. This is part of what makes an aristocrat.”
― Brett Stevens

“I once took a poo in the woods while hunched over like an animal. It was AWESOME.”
― Drew Barrymore

“Jesus died for his own sins, not mine.”
― Crass

“Karma had finally reared its spiked dildo and decided to shove it up my ass—lubeless.”
― L.J. Shen, Playing with Fire

“You’re twistin’ my arm here.” I sighed.
“I’ve been known for helping women discover their flexibility.”
― L.J. Shen, Playing with Fire

“And as I said, him too! Now this one had possibilities,” he said, bringing up the doll. “You ever been in someone else’s body, bumpkin?”
“No, not exactly that way—”
― Piers Anthony

“Where should I tell your father he can find you, should he ask?'
...
'Tell him that I am busy using the woods for a chamber pot.”
― Holly Black, The Queen of Nothing