Crude Quotes

“Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid of it.”
― mae west

“Like a pair of old slippers,
I feel comfort and
warmth as I slip into you.
No, that is too crude.

Like the match to the wick,
I ignite when we touch.
My counterpart and
life's purpose.
Yes, as though I've known you my whole life.

Every scar,
every failure
has become an affirmation
of what should be:
You.
Yes, as though I've loved you my whole life.”
― Kamand Kojouri

“i am like
a dead begonia
hanging upside down
because
like a dead begonia I don't give a fuck”
― David Levithan, Will Grayson, Will Grayson

“I will say one thing about those males, there is never a dull moment." Peri suddenly appeared causing everyone to jump.
"Bloody hell," Jen barked.
"Couldn't you send out some sort of signal that you're about to appear out of thin air?" Lilly asked.
"What do you expect me to do...fart just before I appear so the smell alerts you?" Peri took a seat next to Alina and crossed her legs, appearing regal despite her crude words.
"Why do you say we would be alerted by the smell, rather than the sound?" Sally asked.
Peri smiled. "I think you humans call them silent but deadly.”
― Quinn Loftis, Sacrifice of Love

“So when time had begun to run out on Adelia with no really acceptable husband in sight, she'd married money -- crude money, button money. She was expected to refine this money, like oil.”
― Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

“You're just selfish,” she says.
“Go fuck yourself,” he says quietly.
“You said you'd be nice.”
“I'm not selfish.”
“Sure you are. You love everything for as long as it's easy then as soon as you have to actually empathise with another human being you get claustrophobic.”
― Exurb1a, The Bridge to Lucy Dunne

“Journalism is not a precise science, it's a crude art”
― Dan Rather

“Las convenciones siempre nos imponen su locura en los momentos menos apropiados.”
― Irvine Welsh, Trainspotting

“Ah bet she’s a dirty wee minx in the scratcher. Y’see that "butter wouldnae melt" expression she’s goat goin on? That’s jist a smokescreen – ah guarantee she goes like a train.’ Jimmy belched, considerately turning his head away to exhale.”
― Jamie Holoran, Rounder's People

“Roots cannot grow into trees if there are no supernatural elements in the soil. Man cannot grow wealthy and famous if he doesn't contribute to either, the good or evil.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson

“How ill-inspired we are when
Life, brawling in its crude matter-of-fact way
Decks us with the cold fist of reality”
― Laurence Overmire, Gone Hollywood

“If cheese was a woman, I'd marry her. I'd come home and eat her every night.”
― Solange nicole

“I once took a poo in the woods while hunched over like an animal. It was AWESOME.”
― Drew Barrymore

“You can't polish a turd”
― Kenneth Turnbull

“There are two kinds of people in life: those who like crude dualities and those who do not.”
― Ben Orlin, Math with Bad Drawings

“To put it crudely but honestly, if it doesn’t go into a woman, it goes into your shirt”
― Martin Luther

“Crude humor has never helped anyone.”
― Fritz Chery

“Crude Finders is an oil and gas investment firm with over 20 years of experience. We have a proven track record of high returns on our customers' investments. Our oil gas investors reap the rewards of amazing returns and great tax incentives. If you are looking for oil investment opportunities we can help.”
― Crude Finders

““¿Crees que todos pueden llegar a ser felices? La felicidad de una persona es el sufrimiento de otra, ¿sabes? No importa la buena voluntad que tengas, terminaras hiriendo a alguien sin saberlo, ¿crees que tienes la suficiente fuerza y coraje para soportar la carga del mundo? Oh Punpun, serás cobarde. ¿Sabes cual es la mejor forma de evitar que alguien te hiera? Matarles antes de que suceda.””
― Inio Asano, Goodnight Punpun Omnibus, Vol. 3

“– Я уверен, что после сегодняшнего траханья ты забеременеешь. Столько спермы, сколько я спустился в твою развратную щель, не может быть расходовано в пустую, какое-то зернышко и прорастёт.”
― Аrdency Dreamer, Жестокость под маской благородства

“Where should I tell your father he can find you, should he ask?'
...
'Tell him that I am busy using the woods for a chamber pot.”
― Holly Black, The Queen of Nothing