Fire Down Below Quotes

“I don’t think one stalker is allowed to call another stalker a stalker.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Hey, pharmacist here. Bodily fluids don’t scare me. Neither do yeast infections or wild hair-remover rashes.” He moved her hand and leaned down to give her a long hug.
He’s hugging me.
Me.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“He apologized profusely. “I knew that frog position was too freaky. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not that, Johnson. Did you notice that like every third thrust I was like a virgin? That was my asshole.” Dove put a hand on his shoulder.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Dove found Flower waiting outside her apartment. Flower was staring at her Doc Martins and in a very slow-motion move; she looked up at Dove.

“Jesus!” Flower’s eyes were wide and her mouth stayed open.

Dove wanted to ask, “Bad Jesus or good Jesus?”, but Flower had already used almost half her allotted words on Dove’s predicament. She felt guilty asking for more.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Dove held out a hand to Johnson, and he took it—not because they were fleeing a fire and not because she was holding a million dollars. He took her hand to wrap his fingers around hers.

His long, long fingers.

Her knees went a little watery. Johnson placed a hand on her lower back to steady her. Her ass went a little watery. The trip up her stairs took longer than Ulysses on his epic journey. Johnson took the keys from her hand and opened her door.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Holy tit fungus! Did you give Sasquatch an autopsy in here? God almighty, girl.” He waddled back into the hallway, this time holding his privates with both hands. “You balded the dick mitten. Nice. Let me see it.”
He looked at her like she might drop trou simply because he suggested it.

“I would rather lick a monkey’s armpit than show you my vagina.” Dove gave him the finger.

“You know what I love best about a naked muff hole? It looks just like a camel’s dangly lips.” Duke extended his own lips to make them appear gummy and slack.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Dove hated that he knew way too much about her now. He knew she had a big girl boner for Johnson, he knew she’d tried to remove her crotch hair and had crapped her pants. It was Shameful with a capital Shit.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“So, are you moving in?” Dove tried to look like she was casually leaning against a lamppost. But there was no lamppost, so it looked more like she had injured her back or one of her legs was shorter than the other.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“One of Duke’s very strict rules was to take his dick out any time a woman demanded it of him. He reached deep and put his favorite friend carefully on the fake wood.

She turned and cringed. “Jesus, dicks are so fucking ugly. Why you think putting your grandmother’s jewelry on it will make it more fetching is beyond me.”

Duke covered his dick’s ears and snarled back at Dove, “You’ll hurt his feelings.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“I just want to make sure he’s a good fit for her. She has problems—craps her pants, stuff like that. If she needs help, I want to be there.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Get me your manager.” Dove held her head high and tried to seem older and more self-assured.

The teenager barely registered her request.

“Do it now. My friend here is about to crap his pants. Do you want to smell it?” Dove slapped her hands down on the counter, snapping the life into the girl. “Do you want to smell his shit?”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire in the Hole

“Dove’s heart broke. He’d been so hopeful until cock rings and butt fucking ruined his career.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Thank fucking God. Christ, sorry about praying with “fucking.” Shit! Sorry about saying “Christ!” Shut up, Dove. God hates you.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire in the Hole

“Are you leaving the rollers in on purpose?” He was concerned again.
Dove bit her lip. Her womb wanted to hump his face.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Kisses that danced with smiles tasted amazing.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Dove still couldn’t trust herself to speak without blubbering. But she could kiss. Not Lotsa, not a dressed-up weirdo. Just Dove. She pulled her hand from its sweet prison and touched his face. She leaned in to kiss him, and instead of worrying about which way her nose was pointing, if her armpits were sweating, or if there was a funky taste in her mouth left over from dinner, she thought about lips and touch and kissing. When Johnson moaned, Dove felt so powerful she could have head-butted a dinosaur to death.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Dove ripped her panties off her body like the Hulk and threw them in the corner.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Do you repel pants? Do they actually jump off you?” Dove cringed as she noticed his black socks.

“Pants are afraid of my dick.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire in the Hole

“You’re rocking the full monty? A fur bikini? A wheezing wildebeest? Well, I’ll be your fucking Hairy Plotter. Hold up.” Duke waddled around in his homemade nonsense and returned quickly with a tube of what looked like lotion. “This here? I used it on my face. Seven minutes and I was slippery like a nipple in oil.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire in the Hole

“She could feel her pussy lips starting to swell like she had overdosed on lip plumper. Like she had fucked a gang of angry bees.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Your meat curtains smell like a dirty, dead whore that fucked a dirty, dead gorilla.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“She wrangled her tits into the bustier cups. It was like trying to pipe Jello into an ant’s anus, but eventually she was cinched tight. Dove tried the rollers again. No luck. They weren’t coming out, and it made her a little sick to her stomach thinking about what it would take to remove them.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“She knew it was crazy. That was a given. She had a balloon-sized head covered by a scarf while rocking a uniboob. Her cat was orbiting her, while hissing, at top speed.
It just figures at this point. There’s a rain cloud fucking me up the ass. Don’t panic, she told herself.
Her brain ran around, scraping at her skull and trying to get out of the horror instead.

Be someone else!

The two men stood, stunned stupid by her elaborate costume. Both jumped when

Dove opened her mouth to speak.
“I’m Lotsa Vampersex!” She’d increased her volume and cranked up the pitch of her voice in an effort to disguise herself.

Duke recovered first. “Hey, are you, like, hosting Voldemort’s half-dead body or are you just into freakier stuff than I thought?”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“No, I was just thinking how much I like hearing you talk about numbers. It’s soothing.” Dove was tempted to lean her head back in a friendly way and clamp on his cock like a toothless, sucking pit bull.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Dove sat between his legs for a few more seconds, trying to come up with any feasible reason she could stay there.
I want to sniff his balls. Just once.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“It couldn’t be good to want something this bad. Want someone this bad. I’m just me. Oh God. I’m me, and he’s him.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“He shrugged and laughed a little. “It was a stupid idea. Who takes a girl to a funeral as their first date?”

Dove fought through her gown so she could find his hand and hold it. She wanted to lick it, too, but restrained herself. “You do. It would be my honor to go to this old fart’s funeral with you. Except pretend I said that like a person with a heart.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Dove had next to no coping mechanisms when it came to social interactions gone awry. When all else failed—the running, the hiding, the dying—all that was left was the giggling.
The moment she thought about trying not to laugh, it became one hundred times worse.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Your nipples are like Novocain.”

“You’re at a distinct advantage because I have no idea what controlled substance your nipples are like.” He ran his tongue across his top teeth.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below

“Johnson seemed to have a playbook memorized. He mumbled things like, “Pleasure, apply pressure, female gratification.” And bent her legs to accomplish some pretty spectacular sexual Twister poses. One in particular had Dove ratcheted up like a street dancer with twenty years’ experience.”
― Debra Anastasia, Fire Down Below