Forgiveness Therapy Quotes

“It is not unreasonable to want repentance from a wrongdoer before forgiving that wrongdoer, since, in the absence of repentance, hasty forgiveness may harm both the forgiver and the wrongdoer. The forgiver may be harmed by a failure to show self-respect. The wrongdoer may be harmed by being deprived of an important incentive - the desire to be forgiven - that could move him toward repentance and moral rebirth.”
― Jeffrie G. Murphy, Getting Even: Forgiveness and Its Limits

“Forgiveness is strength.
The strength to move ahead without any resentment.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Think Great: Be Great!

“One great help here - and I make no claim that it is the only help or even a necessary condition for forgiveness - is sincere repentance on the part of the wrongdoer. When I am wronged by another, a great part of the injury - over and above any physical harm I may suffer - is the insulting or degrading message that has been given to me by the wrongdoer: the message that I am less worthy than he is, so unworthy that he may use me merely as a means or object in service to his desires and projects. Thus failing to resent(or hastily forgiving) the wrongdoer runs the risk that I am endorsing that very immoral message for which the wrongdoer stands. If the wrongdoer sincerely repents, however, he now joins me in repundiating the degrading and insulting message - allowing me to relate to him (his new self) as an equal without fear that a failure to resent him will be read as a failure to resent what he hs done.”
― Jeffrie G. Murphy, Getting Even: Forgiveness and Its Limits

“Forgive and forget.If there’s anything that I’ve learnt this far, it’s to forgive people - Balqis”
― Diyar Harraz, After the Storm

“Dressing up forgiveness to look comfortable does nothing more than save face. Forgiveness is a one-sided gift to the abuser and a self-inflicted punishment for the victim. Standing up for oneself by forcing repayment of debt makes a person whole and sets them free. Payback fully satisfies Newton’s Third Law of Motion.”
― Geoffrey Neil, Prey for Us

“Keep dreaming,
Keep hoping,
Keep loving
Keep giving,
keep motivating,
Keep forgiving,
Keep praying,
Keep tithing,
Keep sharing your testimony.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita

“You have divine grace to forgive.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind

“Hold fast to the love of your life”
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind

“It is gracious to overlook and offence.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita

“You are born, you live and then you die. But when you forgive you are free to live again!”
― Stephen Richards

“Revi, tell her about your homework.” Despite her protestations about the height of chairs, Lynne was now leading Barney straight up the side of the couch. “This is amazing, Gretchen. She got assigned to look up a word. And I realized that I’ve gone my entire life without ever really knowing what it means.”

“Which word is that?” Gretchen looked at Revi curiously.

“Forgive,” said Revi. “I told Counselor Troi that I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive my mother, and if I couldn’t, then how could we ever move on? And she said that my forgiveness didn’t have the slightest thing to do with Mom. It only has to do with me. Then she told me to go home and look up the word.”

“And it means…”

“To stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw or mistake,” said Revi, obviously quoting from memory. “And to stop expecting punishment or restitution. It’s not about what she did or didn’t do. It’s about how I feel. I have control over that. I can choose to stop carrying around a lot of crap. It doesn’t change the facts of what happened, it just changes how I react to them.”

“And you’ve done that before, so you know it’s possible,” added Lynne.

“How interesting,” said Gretchen. “You’ve just taught me something. I thought forgiveness meant you had to stop blaming the other person for what they’d done, or stop holding them responsible.”

“Nope,” said Revi. “That’s absolution. I didn’t know that until yesterday, either. I’ll never absolve my father, and I’m not really sure I can absolve my mother. But I think that maybe I can forgive her…eventually…because that’s about me, and the gods know I need every advantage I can get.”
― Fletcher DeLancey, Forward Motion

“You know, I feel a sense of serenity about my relationship with my mother,” I said.
“I don’t feel angry or bitter. I feel as though, with all the therapy, and with my mother’s many illnesses, I’ve reached a point of forgiveness. It’s a kind of acceptance - peace. I loved her. I remember her hugging me and crying with me when my best friend Judy died. It was a beautiful moment.”
― Jacelyn Cane, Mom and Dad's Martinis: A Memoir

“The power of forgiveness frees both the forgiver and the forgiven.”
― Aloo Denish Obiero

“Forgiveness is not a method to bypass or avoid the long and at times brutal trauma recovery process.”
― Amanda Ann Gregory, You Don't Need to Forgive: Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms

“Supposed that you are a trauma survivor and member of an opposed group. In that case, you are not only more likely to experience trauma, but you are also more likely to feel pressure from society to forgive your offender(s).”
― Amanda Ann Gregory, You Don't Need to Forgive: Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms

“Forgiveness should be considered an elective option – not a requirement – in trauma recovery.”
― Amanda Ann Gregory, You Don't Need to Forgive: Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms

“Forgiveness is not a panacea. It does not make trauma disappear, nor does it heal all emotional wounds.”
― Amanda Ann Gregory, You Don't Need to Forgive: Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms