Funny Humour Quotes

“Cut the crap and tell me what color panties you’re wearing.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Glitter Baby

“He[Crystal's father] had found my height amusing, referring to me as his "little girl" at every opportunity even though I could see the bald patch on top of his head fringed by curls when we stood side by side.”
― Joss Stirling, Seeking Crystal

“I could still box your ears.”
“Nonsense,” he scoffed. “You couldn’t reach that high.”
― Anne Gracie, The Winter Bride

“If you were sane, we'd both be mad.”
― Fakeer Ishavardas

“Humans as a whole are but an unwholesome hole with a sorry ass. In short, a**holes.”
― Fakeer Ishavardas

“Oh no?" he sneered, pulling a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and lighting one up. "Knowing what you're like, the slightest sign of a discarded cigarette butt and you would've been crawling around on your hands and knees trying to figure out how tall the smoker was, how old he was, what zodiac sign he was, whether he'd taken a crap that morning, and Christ knows what else.”
― Tim O'Rourke, Vampire Wake