Hookups Quotes

“The way to succeed on Tinder is, as everyone knows, to be a humorless narcissist with no personality because you spend all your time trying to look good and none at all cultivating a brain. You get two beauties together – a bimbo and a himbo – and all you have is a tumbleweed conversation. They don’t know anything, so they have nothing to talk about. Once the vacuous, vapid chat-up lines are exhausted – in five-seconds-flat – what’s left? They have to fuck because there’s nothing else for them to do, except go back to posting selfies and watching videos of cats. Yawn. What a non-life.”
― Adam Nostra, The Devil and Jesus Debate Tinder Strategies: How to Optimize Your Tinder Success

“A whoop of charmers will go bananas once they have felt all their efforts have been made in vain.”
― Lana M. Rochel, Looking For Your Tribe: Poems

“I’d learn over time to insist on chatting by phone before hooking up. It was prudent, I thought, to see if the guy sounded like the type who might ejaculate and then murder me in the throes of shame, or lock me in his basement for the remainder of my life, or hold me down and rape me. Or drill holes in my head and inject boiling water and hydrochloric acid into my brain, the way Jeffrey Dahmer did with his hook-ups to try and turn them into sex zombies.”
― Drew Nellins Smith, Arcade

“You left your fingerprints all over my skin
And I stay alive just so forensics will never suspect you.
I'll always want you that way, but I'll take a friend.
It's not every day you get to die every day.
For the time being, I'd do anything to find you again,
Which is why I work twelve jobs in the city for no pay.”
― Karl Kristian Flores, Can I Tell You Something?

“Edvard Munch painted The Scream after having a premonition of Tinder.”
― Adam Nostra, The Devil and Jesus Debate Tinder Strategies: How to Optimize Your Tinder Success

“I DROPPED A QUARTER ON THE TABLE JUST AS SHE PUT THE EIGHT BALL IN THE CORNER POCKET ...

Perfect timing.

Damn. She wasn’t just cute – she was crazy cute. Those eyes. The biggest, greenest eyes I’d ever stared into. Like the kids in those paintings they sold in the department stores. She had the delicate, finely cut features of every Irish girl I’d ever had a crush on in grammar school.

She was blonde, though not really trying; hair cut casually just above her shoulders in way that seemed to say 'who really gives a fuck?' Perfect. And one more thing: that ass. I was definitely an ass man and hers should’ve been mounted on a wall in the Louvre. Not exactly heart-shaped, it filled those jeans in a way that would allow you to read the date on a nickle wedged inside her back pocket.”
― Quentin R. Bufogle, KING OF THE NEW YORK STREETS

“What an evil sonofabitch God must truly be. To create such cruel beauty and allow it to run blithely through the world of adolescent males – stomping huge, divot-size holes in my poor, tissue paper-thin heart.”
― Quentin R. Bufogle, KING OF THE NEW YORK STREETS

“If one girl calls what happened to her a rape but her peers label what they’ve
experienced as just a bad hookup—which they then dismiss and move on—there is a disconnect. The girl who says rape is out of sync.”
― Susan Kraus, Insufficient Evidence

“Jace was weak as he watched Devon get rejected throughout the night. He saw drinks damn near get tossed on dude, and he even got threatened a few times. Jace sat there on some chill shit though, sippin' and observing all the other fucked-upness going on around him. To his right were three fat chicks, all busting out their cheap outfits. To his left was a lame that looked like he was searching for Wi-Fi, probably so he could get on IG. Straight ahead was a table of rundown bitches in a huddle, sharing one drink between 'em, snapping pictures. And peppered throughout VIP were the dl dudes that were giving him just as much rhythm as the girls were. Ewww!”
― Nick Haskins, She's Obsessed: When Obsession Goes Too Far