Hook Up Culture Quotes

“And yet, despite the high numbers of girls experiencing sexual harassment in schools, only 12 percent said they ever reported it to an adult. "Some researchers claim that sexual harassment is so common for girls that many fail to recognize it as sexual harassment when it happens," said the AAUW report. A 2014 study, published in Gender & Society, of students in a Midwestern city also found that girls failed to report incidents of sexual harassment in school because they regarded them as "normal." Their lack of reporting was found to stem from girls' fear of being labeled "bad girls" by teachers and administrators, who they felt would view them as provoking how they were treated. They also feared the condemnation of other girls, some of whom were shown to be unsupportive, accusing them of exaggerating or lying. Many girls saw everyday sexual harassment and abuse as "normal" male behavior male behavior and something they had to ignore, endure, or maneuver around.”
― Nancy Jo Sales, American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers

“If you choose to engage in one night stands, make sure you have a good reason and peer pressure is NOT one.”
― Shahla Khan, Friends With Benefits: Rethinking Friendship, Dating & Violence

“But whether or not teenagers are using dating apps, they're coming of age in a culture that has already been affected by the attitudes the apps have introduced. 'It’s like ordering Seamless,' says Dan, the investment banker, referring to the online food-delivery service. 'But you’re ordering a person.' The comparison to online shopping seems apt. dating apps are the free-market economy come to sex.”
― Nancy Jo Sales, American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers

“I find it easier to claim that I am friends with a monkey rather than with a man.”
― Shahla Khan, Friends With Benefits: Rethinking Friendship, Dating & Violence

“Emily swiped right on every picture, indicating interest, and within minutes she was getting matches. Her picture, now centered in a little circle, came rolling toward a boy's picture in another circle, and collided with it, with a little ding. "See," she said, "it's like a game.”
― Nancy Jo Sales, American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers

“A glib wisdom holds that people like this just don’t want relationships. They have “problems with intimacy.” But the salient fact is: These were relationships. In Tommy’s case, in Gary’s, and in several others they were relationships that lasted years. Intimacy for most of us is a condition that endures, however often repeated, for minutes or for hours. And these all had their many intimate hours. But, like all sane relationships, they also had limits.”
― Samuel R. Delany, Times Square Red, Times Square Blue

“The mainstreaming of porn is tremendously affecting what’s expected of them. They’re learning sex through porn. What it means to have sex, a lot of the time, is to mimic what they see in pornography.”
(Donna Freitas quote from book)”
― Nancy Jo Sales, American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers

“The girl was surprised when Freitas referred to the experience as sexual assault. "She had no idea that that's what it was, Freitas said. "I'm not sure some young women know what consent is anymore." It's ironic that there has been such outrage in the media about young women crying rape, when in actuality there seems to be a lack of understanding among some young women and girls about whether their encounters are rape or not.
"We've learned to be distant from our bodies, " Freitas said.”
― Nancy Jo Sales, American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers

“A whoop of charmers will go bananas once they have felt all their efforts have been made in vain.”
― Lana M. Rochel, Looking For Your Tribe: Poems

“The more I talk to students," Freitas says, "the more the culture of hooking up seems really problematic for them. Both young women and young men are seriously unhappy with the way things are; they're really ambivalent about the sex they're having. According to everything they see in pop culture, they're supposed to be having a great time; but it's rare that I find a young man or a young woman who says hooking up is the best thing ever. In reality it seems to empty them out.”
― Nancy Jo Sales, American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers