Hose Quotes (3 quotes)

“I wonder, with all the flowers in the garden, how many of them ever think of hanging themselves with the garden hose, if ever they can.”
― Anthony Liccione

tags: beauty, depression, end, flowers, garden, hanging, hidden-motives, hide, hose, sadness-behind-a-smile, suicide, thoughts, unhappy

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“More often than not, expecting to lose weight without first losing the diet that made the weight loss necessary is like expecting a pig to be spotless after hosing it down while it was still rolling in mud.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

tags: adage, adages, africa, african, anorexia, anorexic, aphorism, aphorisms, appetite, axiom, axioms, bmi, body-fat, body-mass-index, cheat-day, cheat-days, clean, deep, dictum, dictums, diet, dietician, dieticians, dietitian, dietitians, epigram, epigrams, exercise, exercises, fat, fatty, food, funny, gnome, gnomes, gym, gymnasium, health, healthy, hose, humor, humorous, humour, ingredient, ingredients, insightful, lean, lose-weight, made-me-think, make-you-think, maxim, maxims, mud, muscles, muscular, necessary, necessity, obese, obesity, overeat, overeater, overeating, overweight, philosopher, pig, pigs, profound, proverb, proverbs, provoke-thought, quotation, quotations, quote, quote-of-the-day, quotes, recipe, recipes, roll, rolling, salad, salads, satire, satirical, saying, sayings, shred, shredded, skinny, south-africa, south-african, spotless, sugar, sugary, thought-provoking, thoughtful, underweight, watch-what-you-eat, weight, weight-loss, weight-to-height, weightlifter, weightlifting, workout

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“I love a man in uniform. And he's got a big hose. I'm getting hot just looking at it."
"I can hear you," Sam called out. "This is an office. Please keep the discussion to a PG level."
"How about you keep your dirty R-rated thoughts to yourself," Daisy retorted. "We're looking at a picture of a firefighter holding a hose on the street to cool people off on a hot summer day. In my innocence, I can't even imagine what you were thinking."
"I thought you were using a metaphor," Sam said. "But clearly I shouldn't assume..."
Layla glanced down at the picture. The firefighter was bare chested save for the suspenders holding up his fireman pants, which were unzipped in a way that suggested he wasn't on his way to a fire. "That's... some hose."
"I can still hear you."
"He's jealous," Daisy whispered. "He wishes he could have a big hose that makes women wet.”
― Sara Desai, The Marriage Game

tags: dirty-joke, firefighter, hose, hot-takes

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