Dirty Joke Quotes

“I love a man in uniform. And he's got a big hose. I'm getting hot just looking at it."
"I can hear you," Sam called out. "This is an office. Please keep the discussion to a PG level."
"How about you keep your dirty R-rated thoughts to yourself," Daisy retorted. "We're looking at a picture of a firefighter holding a hose on the street to cool people off on a hot summer day. In my innocence, I can't even imagine what you were thinking."
"I thought you were using a metaphor," Sam said. "But clearly I shouldn't assume..."
Layla glanced down at the picture. The firefighter was bare chested save for the suspenders holding up his fireman pants, which were unzipped in a way that suggested he wasn't on his way to a fire. "That's... some hose."
"I can still hear you."
"He's jealous," Daisy whispered. "He wishes he could have a big hose that makes women wet.”
― Sara Desai, The Marriage Game

“Johnny's Sh*temare by Stewart Stafford

Amber did sh*t in Johnny's bed,
She did it while he was sleeping,
Right by Johnny's head.

Stank awake on a mattress lumpy,
He saw what Amber had left him,
A hot, steaming grumpy.

Browned off, he leapt to his feet,
No dogs stained his manhood,
Or crapped on the sheet.

Now he's sued her for defamation,
And they call her Amber Turd,
For her reckless defecation.

© Stewart Stafford, 2022. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford

“Griffin: Morning, my beautiful girl. Why did the sperm cross the road?

A few seconds later, a second text came in.

Griffin: Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.”
― Vi Keeland