Irony Sarcasm Quotes

“Because people like stuff. New stuff, even newer stuff. Stuff to replace old stuff with and old stuff that is so old it becomes retro stuff and starts being used instead of new stuff. Let me tell you, it's fun stuff. Sometimes we have to get rid of stuff to make room for new stuff. And then we start to miss the old stuff so much that we have to build new stuff that pretends to be the old stuff. Like when we put TV screens on the treadmills at the gym and then play videos of trees on them so that we feel like we're running through the forest. Yes, I know what you're thinking. Why don't you just go running into the forest to begin with? and it's completely ok to wonder that. You don't know any better. But you see, we had to cut down the trees in the forest in order to build a highway so we could drive our cars to the gym. And yes, I can already see what you're thinking: Why did you have to cut down the trees? But hey, what did you want us to do? They were standing in the middle of the highway. It's complicated stuff to explain.”
― Fredrik Backman, Things My Son Needs to Know About the World

“How lucky I am! I could never have loved anybody else half as much.’‘I know.’‘Still, I wish you wouldn’t say “I know” like that. You might say that you’re lucky too.’‘I’m awfully nice,’ he answered, ‘never could you have found anybody as nice as I am.”
― Nancy Mitford, The Blessing

“No one knows tomorrow, yet everyone has plans for tomorrow.”
― John Joclebs Bassey, Night of a Thousand Thoughts

“And why are you wearing plastic?

It's not plastic, Nate said, affronted.
It's the same material mountain climbers use for protection at high altitudes.

Hmm she said. You know Toronto's almost at sea level, right?”
― Ausma Zehanat Khan, Among the Ruins

“They were all on his side. Hi boat sank.”
― Ljupka Cvetanova, The New Land

“I couldn't help but think how ironic it was; I managed to find the only job in the city encouraging a white guy to walk around the projects and sell black people on the idea of dying.”
― D.G.Allen

“Hoy somos todos iguales, todos unidos por la común indiferencia hacia nuestro trabajo. Esta indiferencia hacia nuestro trabajo. Esta indiferencia ha pasado a ser pasión. La única gran pasión colectiva de nuestro tiempo.”
― Milán Kundera, Identity

“Those are the Wind in the Willows books: full of rats and moles.”
― Jason Matthews, Red Sparrow

“language of love
Please don’t bite your tongue”
― Richard L. Ratliff

“If I had been born a woman I would certainly have been a prostitute. Since I had been born a man, I craved women constantly, the lower the better. And yet women - good women - frightened me because they eventually wanted your soul, and what was left of mine, I wanted to keep. Basically I craved prostitutes, base women, because they were deadly and hard and made no personal demands. Nothing was lost when they left. Yet at the same time I yearned for a gentle, good woman, despite the overwhelming price. Either way I was lost. A strong man would give up both. I wasn't strong. So I continued to struggle with women, with the idea of women.”
― Charles Bukowski, Women

“But vacations are not reality, my friend.”
― Barbara Lynn-Vannoy

“Ah," said Tom, "there's many a twist between handcuff and wrist."

Daisy laughed. "Don't count your villains until they're catched," she said.”
― Carola Dunn, Mistletoe and Murder

“I felt better after shopping, more normal. And more than that looked cool, which almost made up for being in mortal danger, an international fugitive, and a partial amnesiac.”
― Lisa Unger, Sliver of Truth

“There was so much sorrow in his voice that I almost stopped but kept going instead. I thought I could hitch a ride, go to the police and get myself arrested or deported or murdered or whatever. It didn't matter.”
― Lisa Unger, Sliver of Truth

“Our mind is a computer that stores eighty percent of worries in its hard disk and yet continues to stack up more.”
― Rohit Dharupta, Disorder of the World

“You're not a killer," I whisper one last time. Then I drop to the ground, twisting as I roll to light up his form with my flashlight.

Inside Vaughn's cabin, Aolani pulls the trigger.

A single crack. Brent crumples where he stands.

"But now I am," I finish.”
― Lisa Gardner, Still See You Everywhere

“Seif privately suspected Julie would be hearing from the sheriff for letting not one but two interlopers into the inner sanctum without prior consent. Julie's policy seemed to guarantee admission as long as she recognized the visitor.”
― Ausma Zehanat Khan, Blood Betrayal

“At a historically Black college, Diana had been granted the blessed gift of tunnel vision. She'd been blessed with the ability to forget white people existed, if only for a little while.

I had been blessed with being smothered by them.”
― Zakiya Dalila Harris, The Other Black Girl

“I had a miniature breakdown yesterday (there have been others recently) after receiving an Apple News update about how 'God was dead' (we killed Him), but that Chinese researchers at Huazhong University had managed to create a new 'God' out of fungi tissue, only to kill 'Him' again hours later for fear of public panic. I may never recover.”
― Aaron Barry, Femoid