Joe Morelli Quotes

“Next time I fall in love it's going to be with someone who isn't an expert in fibbing."
"You're in love with me?"
"You didn't know that?"
"I did, but it's nice to hear."
"Scares the hell out of me.”
― Janet Evanovich, Smokin' Seventeen

“Joe" I said. "It's Stephanie."
"Does this involve death?"
"Not yet."
"Does this involve sex?"
"Not yet."
"I can't imagine why else you'd be calling me.”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

“Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli.
"No. Were discussing."
"Are you sure?"
"Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around?"
"No."
"The were not fighting.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“You're such a cupcake.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake." Morelli said. "I'll find you."
"You are such a cop."
"Tell me about it.”
― Janet Evanovich, Ten Big Ones

“Stephanie: “I have a list of Kenny's friends. I'm going to run through it.”
Morelli: “Where'd you get this list?”
Stephanie: “Privileged information.”
Morelli: “You broke into his apartment and stole his little black book.”
Stephanie: “I didn't steal it. I copied it.”
Morelli: “I don't want to here any of this. You're not carrying concealed, are you?”
Stephanie: “Who, me?”
Morelli: “Shit, I must be crazy to work with you”
― Janet Evanovich, Two for the Dough

“My sex life is okay."

"Yeah," Morelli said. "But sometimes it's fun to have a partner.”
― Janet Evanovich, Three to Get Deadly

“You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce.”
― Janet Evanovich, Two for the Dough

“I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen