Joe Morelli Quotes

“Joe" I said. "It's Stephanie."
"Does this involve death?"
"Not yet."
"Does this involve sex?"
"Not yet."
"I can't imagine why else you'd be calling me.”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

“Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake." Morelli said. "I'll find you."
"You are such a cop."
"Tell me about it.”
― Janet Evanovich, Ten Big Ones

“Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli.
"No. Were discussing."
"Are you sure?"
"Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around?"
"No."
"The were not fighting.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“You're such a cupcake.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

“Stephanie: “I have a list of Kenny's friends. I'm going to run through it.”
Morelli: “Where'd you get this list?”
Stephanie: “Privileged information.”
Morelli: “You broke into his apartment and stole his little black book.”
Stephanie: “I didn't steal it. I copied it.”
Morelli: “I don't want to here any of this. You're not carrying concealed, are you?”
Stephanie: “Who, me?”
Morelli: “Shit, I must be crazy to work with you”
― Janet Evanovich, Two for the Dough

“My sex life is okay."

"Yeah," Morelli said. "But sometimes it's fun to have a partner.”
― Janet Evanovich, Three to Get Deadly

“You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce.”
― Janet Evanovich, Two for the Dough

“I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen