Night Vale Quotes

“You're a good one, Jackie Fierro," they said. "And that makes the world a dangerous place for you.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“Be proud of your place in the cosmos. It is small, and yet it is. How unlikely! How fantastic!”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“Mostly we don't get destroyed," John said. "Mostly we destroy ourselves.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“There is power in being unremembered, in being overlooked. You should remember that power. People who aren't seen can see and hear all.”
― Joseph Fink, The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home

“Wednesday has been canceled due to a scheduling error.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“And if you’re ever feeling lonely just look at the moon.
Someone, somewhere, is looking right at it too.”
― Night Vale

“In my rage, I can be anywhere, do anything. Vengeance is my path, and I must never once veer from it.”
― Joseph Fink, The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home

“Last night, at a press conference, the City Council reminded everyone that the Dog Park is there for our community enjoyment and use, and so it is important that no one enter, look at, or think about the Dog Park. They are adding a new advanced camera system to keep an eye on the great black walls of the Dog Park at all times, and if anyone is caught trying to enter it, they will be forced to enter it, and will never be heard from again. If you see hooded figures in the Dog Park, no you didn’t. The hooded figures are perfectly safe, and should not be approached at any costs. The City Council ended the conference by devouring a raw potato in quick, small bites of their sharp teeth and rough tongues. No follow-up questions were asked, although there were a few follow-up screams.
We have also received word via encrypted radio pulses about the opening of a new store: Lenny’s Bargain House of Gardenwares and Machine Parts, which until recently was that abandoned warehouse the government was using for the highly classified and completely secret tests I was telling you about last week. Lenny’s will serve as a helpful new source for all needs involving landscaping and lawn-decorating materials and also as a way for the government to unload all the machines and failed tests and dangerous substances that otherwise would be wasted on things like “safe disposal” or “burying in a concrete tomb until the sun goes out.”
Get out to Lenny’s for their big grand opening sale. Find eight government secrets and get a free kidnapping and personality reassignment so that you’ll forget you found them!”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“Where do we start?” said Jackie.
Josie told her. Jackie swore at her, and then apologized for swearing.
“The library, though.” Jackie considered. “No. That’s. That’s.” She indicated with her hands what it was.
“The search for truth takes us to dangerous places,” said Old Woman Josie. “Often it takes us to that most dangerous place: the library. You know who said that? No? George Washington did. Minutes before librarians ate him.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“Whoever you are now, you are home.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“If you say guns kill people one more time, I will shoot you with a gun, and you will, coincidentally, die.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“No one cared about a woman staring through binoculars from a parked car. It was a common sight. There were three other cars with binoculared, watching women just on that block, and that was light by Night Vale standards.”
― Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor, Welcome to Night Vale

“Each day the sun rises and sets. The moon pulls the tides. Our hearts beat. Our loved ones love us back. And we share our inhales and exhales with the great organism that is our tiny planet.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“Such are the foolish dreams of idealistic children who believe that anything can possibly get better over time.”
― Joseph Fink

“Jackie chose an overstuffed easy chair with a paisley design.
“Wow,” she said, settling back and back into fabric that continued to give. For a moment the pain vanished. Comfort was the answer to all of life’s problems. It didn’t solve them, but it made them more distant for a bit as they quietly worsened.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“But, as you watch the sun rise again tomorrow morning, think to yourself: past performance is not a predictor of future results. And then force a smile, drink another cup of coffee, and try not to look down as you walk across the soil that will eventually fill your lifeless lungs and repurpose your corpse.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“We all don't get happy lives. Maybe a happy life doesn't exist, at least not as some complete, discrete entity. We get what we get and we sort through how we feel about it moment by moment.”
― Joseph Fink, The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home

“Dammit!” she said, stabbing the paper with her butter knife and then repeated “Dammit” a couple of more times in a hopeless decrescendo.
“KING CITY,” said the paper.
“Yeah, yeah, so I’ve heard,” she muttered. No one around her noticed. Teenagers shout things a lot while smashing knives near their hands, everyone knew.”
― Joseph Fink, Welcome to Night Vale

“Settling in to be another clear night and pretty evening here in Night Vale. I hope all of you out there have someone to sleep through it with. Or, at least, good memories of when you did.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“We have survived all the way from birth to this very moment, and we look at each other, and some of us start laughing, and others start weeping, and one or two of us break out into a wordless humming song. And all of us mean the exact same thing.

Look at us! Look at us out in the honey light of the finished day! Look at us and rejoice in our sheer being!”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“When we talk about freedom, we restrict ourselves to so few images. Images of freedom should be as liberating as the feeling itself!
I want to talk about freedom as a drum set being thrown down a hill, as opening a book one night, and water gushing from the pages until my life is a lake and I swim away.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“Your music, your lyrics, the leaden prose of your life that proves that everything you are and are not, the structures you build to make futility seem like meaning, the dead and living – who will soon be dead, who will soon be gone, who will soon be smoke – rising in columns and forming clouds in the night sky. For now and ever, by the will of dead and dying gods.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“If you could only see what you’re not seeing! If you could only take in all the complex layers of horrors that lie just beyond your range of sight. If you could only see the world as it really is. It is awful, and on fire…and beautiful.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“The cardinal directions are north, west, south, and east.

The cardinal temperatures are 35º Fahrenheit, 67º Fahrenheit, 3º Celsius, and 10º Kelvin.

The cardinal locations are a cave, a long-abandoned cabin, the bottom of an oceanic trench, and City Hall.

The cardinal emotions are wild abandon, guarded affection, directionless jealousy, and irritation.

The cardinal birds are hawk, sparrow, finch, and owl.

The cardinal names are Jeremy, Kim, Trigger, and Jamie.

And, finally, the cardinal sounds are a door slamming, slight movement in still water, popcorn popping, and a standard guitar G string being snipped with wire cutters.

This has been the Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“The ocean is full of things that would like to kill you. And other things that would ignore or not understand you, and then eventually kill you. Because they do not have the same understanding or valuation of life and death as humans. There are still other things that you would probably kill, simply because you think they are beautiful, and you want to possess beautiful things because you believe that beauty and sentience are mutually exclusive.”
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

“The library will be under a sort of renovation. It is not important what kind of renovation.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“The sea smells like old wood and wet leaves. Like cold mud and warm stone. Like every creature who has ever lived in it, a churning graveyard and nursery. Like winds from the inland carrying the hot circulation of life and winds from the ocean carrying the distant froth of waves against ships and islands. Like gray, only more so. Like blue, only less so.”
― Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor

“The Night Vale Green Market Co-Op announced today that, after fifteen years, they will begin selling fruits and vegetables. Green Market Board President Tristan Cortez said that recent customer surveys indicated that shoppers have grown tired of empty pickup trucks and vacant tents lining the City Hall parking lot every Sunday morning in the summer and fall.

Cortez said that research indicates that consumers are more likely to buy products if they are available and for sale, and that Green Market and Grocery shoppers tend to purchase food items.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“I am speaking now but I am saying nothing. I am just making noises and, as it happens, they are organized in words and you should not draw meaning from this.”
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

“I had known all of this since I left my father's body at our burned estate, but I had stashed it away. I had poured this knowledge into a bottle, and let it age and collect dust deep in the cellar of my conscience. And now the vintage was uncorked, its bouquet opening up, bitter and sharp.”
― Joseph Fink, The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home