Outrageous Behavior Quotes

“Please stop shaking your rain water in my direction. What next? Are you going to come over here, cock your leg and urinate upon my person?”
― Stephen J. Day, Horizontal - The Recumbent Adventures of Philias Switchmoat

“Peaches found herself wondering if Mary, a tiny brunette with an unprepossessing manner and less than ‘stellar’ work ethics, had to play Where’s Waldo to find Steve’s dick beneath his gigantic waistline.”
― A.T. Hicks, Peaches and the Gambler

“Very few people know that my wife actually said, "Hold my beer!" to me as she was in labor and getting ready to bear down. I guess she didn't want to spill it... (Note: for the record, she was NOT drinking alcohol at the time, which would've been both insanely funny, and exceptionally irresponsible).”
― Max Hawthorne