Partner Abuse Quotes

“Addiction does not cause partner abuse, and recovery from addiction does not “cure” partner abuse.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“You know that when your partner deletes their messages to a past lover after being accused of cheating, then it is likely that they were being unfaithful in some way.”
― Steven Magee

“You never have to suffer because of, or be denatured by, another person, even someone you love.”
― Rossana Condoleo, Happy Divorce: How to turn your divorce into the most brilliant and rewarding opportunity of your life!

“You can't take the leaps of vulnerability involved in working through early emotional injuries while you are feeling emotionally unsafe. Because you are emotionally unsafe. And if you succeed in acheiving greater intimacy with your abusive partner, you will soon get hurt even worse than before, because greater closeness means greater vulnerability for you.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“They are reluctant to do the serious work of change, feeling that it would be easier to throw a new blanket over the moldy mattress and carry on with life as usual.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“An abuser who does not relinquish his core entitlements will not remain non-abusive. This may be the single most overlooked point regarding abusers and change. The progress that such a man appears to be making is an illusion. If he reserves the right to bully his partner, to protect even one specific priviledge, he is keeping the abuse option open. And if he keeps it open, he will gradually revert to using it more and more until his prior range of controlling behaviors has been restored to it's full glory.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“Kay Douglas's book is the most supportive, realistic, and practical guide for abused women that I have encountered. A woman with this book in her hands is on the path to a new life. The author really 'gets it' about what it takes to deal with a destructive partner and takes the reader step-by-step from the beginnings of grasping what is happening to her all the way to healing once the relationship has ended.

Outstanding!”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“Adult intimate abuse is a process of seduction and coercion, founded on mind-control, by which an abuser establishes and maintains dominance over the partner. Continued abuse is possible, and maintained, by the abusive person's persistent and effective, lying, denying, and re-directing of blame.”
― Don Hennessy, Steps to Freedom: Escaping Intimate Control