Raunchy Quotes

“Damn it. What are we exactly calling a 'masculine problem'? Did he have trouble running the flag up? Or did it fall to half staff?

"Do we have to speak about this metaphorically or-"

"Yes," Leo said firmly.

"All right. He..." Poppy frowned in concentration as she searched for the right words, "... left me while the flag was still flying.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Tempt Me at Twilight

“Did I hurt you?" She managed to ask, recalling how she had inadvertently pushed on his wounded shoulder. "Does it ache this morning?"

Leo hesitated before replying. "No it eventually eased after you left. But the devil knows it wouldn't take much to start up again."

Catherine was overcome with remorse.
"I'm sorry. Should we put poultice on it?"

"A poultice?" he repeated blankly. "On my... oh. We're talking about my shoulder?"

She blinked in confusion. "Of course we're talking about your shoulder. What else would we be discussing?"

"Cat..." Leo looked away from her. To her surprise, there was a tremor of laughter in his voice. "When a man is aroused and left unsatisfied, he usually aches for a while afterward."

"Where?"
He gave her a speaking glance.

"You mean..." a wild blush raced over her as she finally understood. "Well, I don't care if you ache there. I was only concerned about your wound!"

"It's much better," Leo assured her, his eyes bright with amusement. "As for the other ache--"

"That has nothing to do with me," she said hastily.

"I be to differ.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Married by Morning

“I know that gen Z has it tough—they’re losing their proms and graduations to the quarantine, they’re on deck to bear the full brunt of climate catastrophe, and they’re inheriting a carcass of a society that’s been fattened up and picked clean by the billionaire class, leaving them with virtually no shot at a life without crushing financial and existential anxiety, let alone any fantasy of retiring from their thankless toil or leaving anything of value to their own children. That’s bad. BUT, counterpoint! Millennials have to deal with a bunch of that same stuff, kind of, PLUS we had to be teenagers when American Pie came out!...

American Pie absolutely captivated a generation because my generation is tacky as hell. “I have a hot girlfriend but she doesn’t want to have sex” was an entire genre of movies in the ’90s. In the ’90s, people loved it when things were “raunchy” (ew!). Every guy at my high school wanted to be Stifler! Can you imagine what that kind of an environment does to a person? To be of the demographic that has a Ron Burgundy quote for every occasion, without the understanding that Ron Burgundy is a satire? This is why we have Jenny McCarthy, I’m pretty sure, and, by extension, the great whooping cough revival of 2014. Thanks a lot, jocks!”
― Lindy West, Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema

“Tip #4
Skinny-dip at will!

(Idea)
When single boast about finding your inner most happy place and hold on to it Odds are once married you can kiss personal space Good-Bye.”
― Hazel Cartwright, Single's Guide: A Single Therapy Guidebook

“Me mum always told me the rich was blessed, but I thought she was talkin' about gold." She leaned over to cackle in his ear, then actually patted him on the head as if he was some slavering lapdog. "You might have escaped the gallows, lad, but you was already well hung.”
― Teresa Medeiros, A Kiss to Remember

“What do guys with big dicks say in the morning?”
“Huh?” The question confused him. “What?”
Lea nodded. “Yeah, I didn’t think you’d know.”
― Matthew FitzSimmons, Poisonfeather

“Jett leaned in close. “Ready to run? Renn’s huffing and puffing like he just deep throated a monster cock the last half hour.”
― Katherine McIntyre, Hypnotizing Beat

“I even miraculously avoided getting a tramp stamp.”
― Sarah Esterly, Stalker Sarah & Trophy Tommy's Crazy Country Summer: An Insane 90s Teen Romance, F**ked Up Woman's Survival Story, and Letter to a Long-Lost Friend

“I can’t help but notice you have no hair on your vagina,” I said matter-of-factly to the woman with no hair on her vagina.”
― Dave Hill, Tasteful Nudes and Other Misguided Attempts at Personal Growth and Validation

“The rush was incredible, like getting a prostate exam in the middle of a roller-coaster ride at a women’s prison—the kind of thrill you never see coming in a million, trillion years.”
― Dave Hill, Tasteful Nudes and Other Misguided Attempts at Personal Growth and Validation

“How do you put your balls on a diet?”
― C.M. Nascosta, A Blue Ribbon Romance