Satirical Fiction Quotes

“I once bought my producer a case of Mountain Dew, his favorite soda, as a thank you for all he'd done for me. He was really surprised - his favorite drink is actually 7UP. But he complimented me for getting the color of the can right.”
― John Bennardo, Just a Typo: The Cancellation of Celebrity Mo Riverlake

“If you didn't already know, game show talent works fewer days a year than almost every profession, except maybe members of Congress.”
― John Bennardo, Just a Typo: The Cancellation of Celebrity Mo Riverlake

“The seas are wide and flow together. They have no borders and have room enough for all fish.”
― Emile Habiby, الوقائع الغريبة في اختفاء سعيد أبي النحس المتشائل

“Q: Who do you think will hate this book?
Readers who need likable characters, happy endings, or faith in humanity’s progress.”
― Alexander Petrow, The Weather Forecast in Hell

“In a world that rarely adds up, absurdity might be the closest thing to truth. Then again, I’ve always been bad at math.”
― Delusional enough to write a novel

“Davai, come on!” Dmitry grumbled impatiently as his gaze drifted toward the inviting dinner on his plate: a delectable dish of Sibirskiye Pelmeni. These impeccably crafted Siberian-style meat dumplings, topped with a dollop of rich sour cream, looked as though they’d been plucked right out of a foodie’s well-curated Instagram feed. However, the promise of their rich flavor had been momentarily eclipsed by the drama of the recalcitrant television—an antiquity that usually served as Dmitry’s trusty portal to the world but today, for some reason, obstinately refused to fulfill its duties.”
― Luna M. Leon, Of Sturgeon and Carrie Bradshaw

“To those who claim I lack respect for the human race — I will say that, after all, I removed the phrase ‘depressed neurotic monkeys’ from all the places in the book; and not just because I like and respect monkeys. What does that tell you?”
― Alexander Petrow, The Weather Forecast in Hell