Scifi Humor Quotes

“This world was no place for anyone with access to another.”
― Joe Haldeman, Worlds

“I didn't say that," Ziara protested, eyeing him as a sudden idea occurred to her. "But I'm a practical person, and when I hear a new theory I like to give it a test."
"Shall we as the Ascendancy to declare war on someone?"
"I was thinking a little smaller," she said. "Come on.”
― Timothy Zahn, Chaos Rising

“They left Puonvangi at the 303rd in the company of a riotous party of Binlisi conventioneers. The Birilisi were an avian species and much given to excessive narcoticism; they and Puonvangi were guaranteed to get on. There was much fluttering.”
― Iain M. Banks

“Bees? Are you telling me we have space bees?”
― David Colello, Trillion Dollar Sky: Climate Fiction Romance

“If aliens wanted to exterminate us, they wouldn't send a fleet of spaceships or a Deathstar. They'd just send one guy with a deadly virus.”
― Oliver Markus Malloy, Inside The Mind of an Introvert: Comics, Deep Thoughts and Quotable Quotes

“Someplace nice and quiet and away from the spaceport, I hope," Thalias said. "The first thing Yiv will probably assume is that we'll try to steal a ship."
"Indeed he will," Thrawn agreed.
"So where are we going?"
Thrawn leaned forward, giving her a smile around the edge of his dripping hood. "To the spaceport," he said. "To steal a ship.”
― Timothy Zahn, Chaos Rising

“If you can't tell him, can you at least tell me?" Wutroow asked.
"I especially can't tell you," Ar'alani said, giving her a wry smile. "Your brain is the one I rely on to make sure mine is functioning properly.”
― Timothy Zahn, Greater Good

“Three more awards received in 2017
Gold for Seb Cage Begins His Adventures
Gold for The Time Slipsters
Silver for The Deaduction Agency”
― Terry Tumbler

“We are born with our eyes open. The world teaches us to close them.”
― Frank J. Fleming, Sidequest: In Realms Ungoogled

“I didn't say that," Ziara protested, eyeing him as a sudden idea occurred to her. "But I'm a practical person, and when I hear a new theory I like to give it a test."
"Shall we ask the Ascendancy to declare war on someone?"
"I was thinking a little smaller," she said. "Come on.”
― Timothy Zahn, Chaos Rising

“Takes a pretty confident person to think he can beat modern turbolasers with blaster cannons, though."
Thrawn shrugged. "I could."
"Right, but you're on our side," Eli said drily.”
― Timothy Zahn, Thrawn

“Young humans can be impulsive. The trick is keeping them around long enough to become old humans. This is what my crew tells me and my own observations seem to confirm it”
― Martha Wells, Artificial Condition

“The fate of the universe lies in your lung capacity.”
― D.C. Greschner