Toxic Positivity Quotes

“Positive thinking is a coping mechanism, an automatic coping mechanism. It is void of life. Feeling and experiencing the realness of what is actually happening are the essences of being alive. Feeling, connecting, reacting to the flow-- this is all living. Positive thinking happens in the head, meanwhile, it denies the heart its authentic, genuine feelings. Not only does it have the potential to rob you of real and deeper connection which is ultimately necessary to living a passionate and compassionate life; but it even has the potential to cut you off from reality itself. A mask that you put on your face, other people's faces, and throw over everything around you. We do not become positive by refusing to be real. We become positive people by really living, really feeling, and really rising above anything that would threaten to sink us. You can't even see what threatens to sink you if you refuse to acknowledge that it's even there. Why did Titanic sink? Someone refused to see the icebergs.”
― C. JoyBell C.

“I wish I hadn't been taught that it was my job to make people happy all the time instead of that people are allowed to feel not happy.”
― Allyson Dinneen, Notes From Your Therapist

“Person 1: I'm hurting.
Person 2: Just don't think about it.
Person 1's nervous system: {Not a chance.}”
― Allyson Dinneen, Notes From Your Therapist

“My family were blandly supportive to the point of uselessness. Oh, they had plenty of soothing platitudes, but platitudes wouldn’t get me back 20 years.”
― Jonathan Sims, The Magnus Archives: Season 4

“People we love have difficult feelings. That's not something to fix or run away from. But accepting that can take practice if you grew up learning that painful feelings were some kind of failure.”
― Allyson Dinneen, Notes From Your Therapist

“When I tell someone who is hurting to think positive, feel better, be grateful, etc.
it's not them who can't handle feeling sad,
it's me.”
― Allyson Dinneen, Notes From Your Therapist

“You don't have to 'get over' your feelings. Why shouldn't they take as long as they take?”
― Allyson Dinneen, Notes From Your Therapist

“So often we're not allowed to feel upset--even for a minute--without the world rushing us to do something about it. But why can't I feel upset?”
― Allyson Dinneen, Notes From Your Therapist

“When family, school & society put so much emphasis on being perfect, strong, happy & well-adjusted--no surprise we conclude we have to be all those things to be loved. And grow up never knowing that to be vulnerable, messy, human is lovable.”
― Allyson Dinneen, Notes From Your Therapist

“Some days I'm not okay and I'm not trying to fix that. No I don't need advice on how to not feel this way. I just need time to feel it.”
― Allyson Dinneen, Notes From Your Therapist

“I find it stressful to be around people who insist that everyone be happy all the time.”
― Allyson Dinneen, Notes From Your Therapist

“The main problem was thinking I wasn't supposed to feel bad. (People feel bad. There's no need to fix that.)”
― Allyson Dinneen, Notes From Your Therapist

“So much of our pain comes from having never been allowed to grieve what we've lost.”
― Allyson Dinneen, Notes From Your Therapist

“We have to remember that most major social justice movements in history began with a complaint.”
― Whitney Goodman, Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy

“If someone tells you that you should have gotten over something or someone by now, don’t believe it. Believing there’s some appropriate time frame for getting over something is just one more way to keep yourself stuck. But neither should you believe that there’s nothing you can do to enable yourself to let go, or that it just takes time.”
― Douglas Stone, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

“And that quote, “The only disability in life is a
bad attitude,” the reason that that’s bullshit is because it’s just not true, because of the social model of disability. No amount of smiling at a flight of stairs has ever made it turn into a ramp. Never. Smiling at a television screen isn’t going to make closed captions appear for people who are deaf. No amount of standing in the middle of a bookshop and radiating a positive attitude is going to turn all those books into braille. It’s just not going to happen.”
― Stella Young

“When you witness a symptom or criticism toward an issue, don’t use positive thinking to downplay or deny its seriousness. Instead, use positive thinking to make the situation better.”
― Thomas Lu, The Personal Sustainability Handbook: 60+ Practices to Sustainabilize Your Health, Finances, Relationships and Beyond