Unfunny Quotes

“This was so unfunny, Steve had to laugh.”
― Mac Barnett, The Case of the Case of Mistaken Identity

“I had a joke where I said, ‘I watch Star Search sometimes, and my question is: What is Ed McMahon’s talent?”
― Arsenio Hall, Arsenio: A Memoir

“Arsenio Hall repeatedly rebuked charges of sexism and misogyny (in the workplace), recalling how much he respects and likes women, since he was raised by three of them. As one former employee of The Arsenio Hall Show so pointedly summed it up: “I mean, really. How much respect do you have when you give women black dildos with a watch wrapped around them as Christmas presents? One of them didn’t think it was funny and promptly returned it. The others didn’t think it was funny, but they didn’t have the guts to give it back to him.”
― Arsenio Hall, Arsenio: A Memoir

“Why don't you get your dick out of your ass and write me some fucking jokes?”
― Arsenio Hall, Arsenio: A Memoir

“Arsenio found himself trusting his heart more than once during the brief but intense Persian Gulf War in 1990–1991.

ARSENIO HALL: "I was going to do a joke about what Saddam Hussein would say to his wife on the morning of January fifteenth, 1991 [the start of the campaign]. When he was going to work I wondered out loud if he would say, ‘Honey, don’t wait up!' "

On Monday he decided not to use the gag. Then on Tuesday, when the staff talked about it, he mulled over the idea again.

ARSENIO HALL: “I put a little extra thought into it. Much as I wanted to try to make people laugh in a world that was not always funny, I knew I was doing a joke about war, and that the potential result of war is loss of life — so I’m real, real careful.”

Then that night on the show, his guest, Farrah Fawcett, told him that she thought if women ran the world, there wouldn’t be any wars.
Eventually, ”I chickened out on [the joke],“ Arsenio said. ”As much as I believe our country should function from a position of strength, what’s going on now is not worth bloodshed. I place a lot of value on life.”
― Norman King, Arsenio Hall