Metanee

“I need you.” He could not go any further down. Rock bottom. And at the very bottom was just this one thing. The core of it all. “Fucking... love you... too much.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Soldiers

“I thought I was better than you.” He felt too much, was tearing himself open with all this, but nine years deserved all his pain. “How wrong was I.” Vadim reached behind him to touch Dan’s neck.

“I wanted you even then. And I was... curious. I tried to... get into your mind, and instead let you in. Not good, and yet best thing I’ve done in this whole war.”
“Best thing I’ve done in all my life”.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Soldiers

“I’d die for you, Dan. No questions asked.”

“No, Vadim. No.” Dan’s dark eyes were unforgivingly intense. “You must not die for me, not ever. You must live for me, you understand?” His fingertips rested on Vadim’s face. “Give me your word, you will live for me, whatever happens. Even if I never see you again. I need to believe that somewhere, out there, you are alive.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Soldiers

“Hey, comrade,” Dima said, tone, choice of words, everything exactly as it would have been in the eighties, in that forsaken country.
Vadim peered at him in the mirror. “Yes?”
“Are you guys in trouble?” Dima moved closer, stood within touching distance. “I don’t mean your little crusade a while back. I mean the rest.”
Vadim inhaled and lowered his gaze for a few moments. “Life isn’t easy, Dima. That’s our set of rules.”
“You know you can change them. If he’s fucking around….”
“So am I.”
“But you’re not happy with it?”
“It’s just sex, Dima.”
Dima looked at him for a long time. “It’s never just sex for you, though. Am I wrong?”
“No. You’re right.” Vadim shook his head. “Rules, Dima. We’re a different case.”
Dima reached out and took him by the shoulders, pulling him up and back against him, which made Vadim look at himself in the mirror.
“It’s not easy. I wish it was.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part II