Andrew Brooks

“It’s very important that you try very, very hard to remember where you electronically transferred Mommy and Daddy’s assets.”
MICHAEL MASLIN, JULY 24, 2000”
― Michael Maslin

“But my customers Have been most understanding, and we have responded with generosity if they do not overreact. If they find a dead body in the aisle, they're entitled to a 20% discount off 1 item that day.”
― Robert Asprin

“Some remnants sob, some scream, some fight you for control. It’s why you always charge your clients for an acclimation period, so you don’t end up with an unpleasant surprise when you first plug in a remnant drive—like the angry dead spewing vitriol at their bewildered relatives. (Clients do not usually pay for the privilege of being reamed out by their late loved ones.)”
― Tia Tashiro, Clarkesworld Magazine, Issue 206, November 2023

“A war is a very serious gig indeed, and not one for which I am prepared, either mentally or pharmaceutically. Journalists who follow such things are another breed, another species altogether, lantern-eyed with long sleepless nights of shelling, their postures permanently altered by the weight of their combat armor. They speak a language all their own, intelligible only to others of their species, and they are a dying breed. Today, bereft of even the tiniest civil disturbance to cover, they have begun to fight each other in bloody hand-to-hand combat, one-on-one, with teeth and fingernails, like psychopathic lemmings bent on the annihilation of their species”
― Dave Hutchinson, Now Wash Your Hands