Serina

“You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet."
"You're lucky I didn't sue you."
"You're lucky I didn't put the car into reverse and back over you three or four times.”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“I could have spent my time hugging you or I could have spent my time telling you not to touch hot stoves or take candy from men. Which did you want?”
― Laurie Notaro, It Looked Different on the Model: Epic Tales of Impending Shame and Infamy

“That’s how you tell what a man’s really made of. It’s one thing for a man to be big and brave and kill a spider. Any man could do that. Trailin’ after a woman when she’s shopping for thongs and push-up bras is a whole other category of man. And then if you want to see how far you can go with it, you ask him to carry one of those little pink bags they give you.”
― Janet Evanovich, To the Nines

“There’s always tomorrow.”

“Exactly,” she said, finishing off her first doughnut, selecting a second. Maybe she wouldn’t starve to death, she decided. Maybe she’d eat herself into obesity and explode. Death by doughnut.”
― Janet Evanovich, Naughty Neighbor