Alison

“In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!”
― Dave Barry

“It's a tradition,” Grimm said. “Were traditions rational, they’d be procedures.”
― Jim Butcher, The Aeronaut's Windlass

“Do I have to talk to insane people?"
"You're a librarian now. I'm afraid it's mandatory.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Woman Who Died a Lot

“Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.”
― Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight