Carol

“(Novelists, when their characters drive cars, never feel compelled to describe precisely what the physical actions are of hands, feet, eyes, knees, elbows. Yet many of these same novelists, when their characters copulate, get into such detailed physical description you’d think they were writing an exercise book. We all know the interrelation between the right ankle and the accelerator when driving a car, and we needn’t be told.”
― Donald E. Westlake, Dancing Aztecs

“Author? Author? Did you write these legs?'
'Yes."
'Well, I don't like dem. I don't like 'em at all at all. I could ha' writted better legs meself.”
― Spike Milligan, Puckoon

“With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his [war] pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate.”
― Spike Milligan

“If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.”
― Terry Pratchett