Wanda

“How about Al?” Sam suggested. “Perfect,” Dave grinned. “Um . . . Hi Poseidon, this is Al.” “Al who?” “Al Jacques Yuoff!” Dave snorted, desperately trying not to laugh as Hairy Sam rocked back and forth giggling. “Al Jacques Yuoff?” Poseidon boomed. “You’ll jack me off? Thanks you fat bastard!” Dave shrieked and hung up quickly.”
― Robyn Peterman, Pirate Dave and his Randy Adventures

“Cockmotherhumpershitpissbodoinkeewacker,”
― Robyn Peterman, Pirate Dave and his Randy Adventures

“I'm twenty-nine, happily single and getting it on a regular basis' I said, enjoying the way their thin lips hung open in an impressive O.

'Well I've never,' Jane gasped.

'Clearly. You should try it some time. I understand Mr Smith is so vision impaired you might have a shot there.'

Their appalled shrieks were music to my ears and I quickly made my escape.”
― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead

“Life happens whether we are ready or not—the only choice or control we have is whether or not we will rise to meet its challenges.”
― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead