Wanda

“I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and slammed it shut. I shouldn’t have come. I should have waited outside for Jack, told him my family had leprosy, and sent him on his merry way. After I boinked him in my new car.”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?

“I'm twenty-nine, happily single and getting it on a regular basis' I said, enjoying the way their thin lips hung open in an impressive O.

'Well I've never,' Jane gasped.

'Clearly. You should try it some time. I understand Mr Smith is so vision impaired you might have a shot there.'

Their appalled shrieks were music to my ears and I quickly made my escape.”
― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead

“It takes a while for the heat to work in this piece of shit, but when it kicks in, you’ll sweat like a fat whore at confession.”
― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?

“I was speechless. Rare for me, but if anyone was capable of shocking me to silence, it was my mother.”
― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead