Josh

“What exactly do Catholics believe?” I’d been preparing my whole life for this question. “First of all, blood. BLOOD. Second of all, thorns. Third of all, put dirt on your forehead. Do it right now. Fourth of all, Martin Luther was a pig in a cloak. Fifth of all, Jesus is alive, but he’s also dead, and he’s also immortal, but he’s also made of clouds, and his face is a picture of infinite peace, but he also always looks like one of those men in a headache commercial, because you’re causing him so much suffering whenever you cuss.”
― Patricia Lockwood, Priestdaddy: A Memoir

“If privacy had a gravestone it might read: 'Don't Worry. This Was for Your Own Good.”
― John Twelve Hawks, The Dark River

“Look up at that, Henry. Look up at that, honestly, and tell me you believe that our lives are anything more than a ridiculous cascade of random chances. A cloud of dust and gas forms our planet, a chemical reaction creates life, and then all of our cavemen ancestors live just long enough to bone each other before they die awful deaths. The universe is not the magical place people like to paint it as. It’s excruciatingly beautiful, but there’s no magic there, just science.”
― Krystal Sutherland, Our Chemical Hearts

“One of the men of God is pacing back and forth behind the banquet table, addressing the crowd, telling the sorts of jokes you only ever hear at church functions. Often these jokes involve sporting events that are being broadcast that day, and then all the men groan, because they love sports very much and would rather be watching them, but just kidding, because Jesus is a football that all of us can carry down the field for the win.”
― Patricia Lockwood, Priestdaddy: A Memoir