Kelly

“If I only could explain
How much I miss
that precious moment
when I was free
from the shackles of chronic pain.”
― Jenni Johanna Toivonen

“My name is CRPS, or so they say
But I actually go by; a few different names.
I was once called causalgia,
nearly 150 years ago
And then I had a new name It was RSD, apparently so.

I went by that name because the burn lived inside of me.
Now I am called CRPS, because I have so much to say I struggle to be free.
I don't have one symptom and this is where I change, I attack the home of where I live; with shooting/burning pains.
Depression fills the mind of the body I belong, it starts to speak harsh to self, negativity growing strong.
Then I start to annoy them; with the issues with sensitivity,
You'd think the pain enough; but no, it wants to make you aware of its trembling disability.
I silently make my move; but the screams are loud and clear, Because I enter your physical reality and you can't disappear.
I confuse your thoughts; I contain apart of your memory,
I cover your perspective, the fog makes it sometimes unbearable to see.
I play with your temperature levels, I make you nervous all the time -
I take away your independance and take away your pride.
I stay with you by the day & I remind you by the night,
I am an awful journey and you will struggle with this fight.
Then there's a side to me; not many understand,
I have the ability to heal and you can be my friend.
Help yourself find the strength to fight me with all you have, because eventually I'll get tired of making you grow mad.
It will take some time; remember I mainly live inside your brain,
Curing me is hard work but I promise you,
You can beat me if you feed love to my pain.
Find the strength to carry on and feed the fears with light; hold on to the seat because, like I said, it's going to be a fight.
But I hope to meet you, when your healthy and healed, & you will silenty say to me - I did this, I am cured is this real?
That day could possibly come; closer than I want-
After all I am a disease and im fighting for my spot.

I won't deny from my medical angle, I am close to losing the " incurable " battle.”
― Nikki Rowe

“The real heroes are those who rebuild their lives using adversity as a stepping stone to greatness in the midst of the chaos life has thrown at them.”
― Nikki Rowe

“If I only could explain
how much I miss
that precious moment when I was free
from the shackles of chronic pain.”
― J. J. Toivonen