Zişan

“We believe we are seeking happiness in love, but what we are really after is familiarity. We are looking to re-create, within our adult relationships, the very feelings we knew so well in childhood and which were rarely limited to just tenderness and care. The love most of us will have tasted early on came entwined with other, more destructive dynamics: feelings of wanting to help an adult who was out of control, of being deprived of a parent’s warmth or scared of his or her anger, or of not feeling secure enough to communicate our trickier wishes.

How logical, then, that we should as adults find ourselves rejecting certain candidates not because they are wrong but because they are a little too right—in the sense of seeming somehow excessively balanced, mature, understanding, and reliable—given that, in our hearts, such rightness feels foreign and unearnt. We chase after more exciting others, not in the belief that life with them will be more harmonious, but out of an unconscious sense that it will be reassuringly familiar in its patterns of frustration.”
― Alain de Botton, The Course of Love

“Bu çağın garipliklerinden biri, arkadaşlık kurmanın en kolay yolunun genelde karşınızdakinden soyunmasını istemek olması.”
― Alain de Botton, The Course of Love

“Pronounce a lover 'perfect' can only be a sign that we have failed to understand them. We can claim to have begun to know someone only when they have substantially disappointed us.”
― Alain de Botton, The Course of Love

“Çünkü herkesin ara sıra yoğun mutluluk anları vardır ama, sürekli olarak kişisel mutluluk peşinden
koşmak, bir kepazelikten başka bir şey değildir. Böyle bir dünyada, bunca felâket, bunca yoksulluk,
bunca haksızlık ortasında, ancak inekler kadar kafasız ve duyarsız olanlar -yani gerçekten insan
sayılamayacak yaratıklar- kişisel açıdan mutlu olabilirler.”
― Mîna Urgan, Bir Dinozorun Anıları