Ron Gelber

“I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere”
― Helen Gurley Brown

“A friend said to me, “Hey you need to grow a pair. Grow a pair, Bro.” It’s when someone calls you weak, but they associate it with a lack of testicles. Which is weird, because testicles are the most sensitive things in the world. If you suddenly just grew a pair, you’d be a lot more vulnerable. If you want to be tough, you should lose a pair. If you want to be real tough, you should grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”
― Sheng Wang

“Before I speak, I have something important to say.”
― Groucho Marx