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“Mercenary company? Hmm.” Florian offered, “A troop of loyal but dim psychopaths with the ability to beat up every other thick psychopath in sight?” Ash raised her brows at him. “Five years, and you still haven’t got the hang of being a
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“Mercenary company? Hmm.” Florian offered, “A troop of loyal but dim psychopaths with the ability to beat up every other thick psychopath in sight?” Ash raised her brows at him. “Five years, and you still haven’t got the hang of being a soldier!” The surgeon chuckled. “I doubt I ever will.” “I’ll tell you what a mercenary company is.” Ash jabbed her finger at Florian. “A mercenary company is an immense machine that takes in bread, milk, meat and wine, tentage, cordage and cloth at one end, and gives out shit, dirty washing, horse manure, trashed property, drunken vomit and broken kit at the other end. The fact that they sometimes do some fighting is entirely incidental!”
“Gaston was a short, bulky man in his late fifties who favoured tight jeans, studded belts and sleeveless T-shirts, the better to show off the tattoos on his own arms. Only the absence of a mullet or a purple Mohican saved him from a breach of the EU directive against egregious cliché embodiment.”
― The October Man
― The October Man
“The first time he showed me round the big freezers he pulled out a tray of frozen ice cream balls covered in cornflakes and bit into one like an apple. These were the deep-fried ice creams, an important part of Chiquito’s elaborate birthday treat that all customers got if it was their birthday. He bit into it and stuck it back on the tray. I’d never seen lunacy like it. A few days later I found myself alone in the freezer. Wanting to be as cool as Dave I grab an ice cream and stuff it in my mouth. Sadly though it wasn’t an ice cream. It was a ball of frozen shrimp butter. It was horrid and I vowed I would never randomly eat frozen balls of unknown matter again. It’s a promise I have never broken.”
― Truths, Half Truths and Little White Lies: The heartbreaking and hilarious memoir from the star of Shaun of the Dead and Spaced
― Truths, Half Truths and Little White Lies: The heartbreaking and hilarious memoir from the star of Shaun of the Dead and Spaced
“I’m not really a competitive person, at least I pretend to myself I’m not. I’ve never trusted people who are overly competitive. I don’t get it. I get the drive and commitment needed to see something through, a work ethic, what I never got were those people who are desperate to win at any cost. It’s just not in me. I think also when it comes to something as subjective as comedy or literature it’s difficult to accurately pick a winner. I feel if you’re willing to put your heart and your all into something as emotional as art in all its facets and forms then you’re a winner from the get-go.”
― Truths, Half Truths and Little White Lies: The heartbreaking and hilarious memoir from the star of Shaun of the Dead and Spaced
― Truths, Half Truths and Little White Lies: The heartbreaking and hilarious memoir from the star of Shaun of the Dead and Spaced
“Smiley was the guy who made me realise that it was all right to succeed. No one had ever told me that. It was something I’d never considered before. That’s stayed with me ever since. It’s okay to succeed. I knew what it felt like to hurt and fail, those things were familiar to me. But the thought that I was allowed to succeed was something new and scary and something I needed to hear.”
― Truths, Half Truths and Little White Lies: The heartbreaking and hilarious memoir from the star of Shaun of the Dead and Spaced
― Truths, Half Truths and Little White Lies: The heartbreaking and hilarious memoir from the star of Shaun of the Dead and Spaced
“you’re dead set on creating explosions that a crematory operator would hear and would definitely be freaked out by, don’t leave unpopped popcorn in your body. Instead, try leaving a pacemaker in your body. (Note: I one-thousand-percent do not recommend doing this. I’m making a joke. See, I can make jokes too, Tim.) A pacemaker helps living people control their heartbeat, speeding up the heart if needed, slowing the heart down if needed. It’s a cute lil’ thing, the size of a small cookie, that is basically a battery, generator, and some wires implanted (through surgery) into the body. It can save your life if your heart is misfiring. But if a pacemaker is not removed from a dead body before the cremation, it can turn into a tiny bomb.”
― Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? And Other Questions About Dead Bodies
― Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? And Other Questions About Dead Bodies
Chicks with Swords: A Book Club
— 258 members
— last activity May 11, 2025 06:27PM
An online book club for adventurous ladies who aren't afraid of a little swordplay. Our aim is to focus on reading and discussing books with strong fe ...more
Holly’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Holly’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
4,714 books
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1,890 friends
1,352 books
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81 friends
558 books
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88 friends
4,326 books
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47 friends
4,617 books
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168 friends
1,531 books
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27 friends
1,079 books
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69 friends
980 books
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109 friends
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