Umi

“It moves by itself? Penises are so strange!”
― A.H. Lee, Incubus Caged

“Ronan said, "I'm always straight."
Adam replied "Oh, man, that's the biggest lie you've ever told.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

“Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.
No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Doesn't give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.”
― George Carlin

“Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people.”
― Tamora Pierce, Melting Stones